Armored Trooper Votoms:
Uodoo City #2
Nutech
75 minutes
Japanese
English Subtitles
07/17/2001
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Armored Trooper Votoms:
Nutech
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Gotho: The god of destiny gave me this partnership, not
you. The character Vanilla, with his orange afro and dark hued skin, was
probably made at the near inception of Japan's obsession with American
70's and 80's culture. While I've never seen a jive talking black man
with florescent hair, I'm assuming something gets lost in the translation
of Shaft. Either way, I'm a big fan of the man in the green jumpsuit
and his sly manner of speaking. So when he suggests going after the police's
large supply of Jijirium, I was all kinds of ready to root him on. Notice
that we're seven episodes into the series and they still haven't told
us what Jijirium IS. I can forgive them that because it adds to the mystery
of the situation.** With anything that ends in -"ium"
you can just assume that it's a mineral of some sort, possibly precious,
that the evil people are hoarding in order to oppress the Jijirium-less
poor slobs in their society. I like to compare Jijirium to Goldium, Silverium,
and Coppertainium. You might say that I was lying about the existence
of such metals, then I'd tell you I was the king of China and jump out
the window while you were looking for my funny hat and the gold bars in
my coat sleeves.
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So, our hero Chirico is getting the crap beaten out of him by the police
while a fat priest reminiscent of that movie about Martin Luther (not
King) just watches. I call him a priest because he wears robes and he's
fat. I refuse to believe anyone that corpulent in those kind of threads
can be anything but a holy man. Haven't you seen that episode of the Simpsons?
So, holy man or not, he's an evil dude... just like the guy in the movie
about Martin Luther (not King), only he eats less chicken and doesn't
"adulter" with so many medieval ladies. He's in on the conspiracy all
right, possibly suggesting that the chief of police should give him his
share of Jijirium in payment for indulgences, so that his sins may be
forgiven. Given that fact that all of the "next episode" previews have
references to Bible stuff like Sodom and Gommorah... how far off can I
be?
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A "far out" escape plan is conceived between Vanilla, Gotho, and the
redheaded Coconna. Basically, they'll be using their HEAVY RASER(!) to
cut through the prison walls. Considering the thing has a battery of roughly
EIGHTY TIMES its size, I don't see why there would be much of a problem
of it cutting through anything short of a really long Daschund. I don't
know, I wanted to say "fat girl" but that sounded way too offensive and
anything as thin as a wiener dog must have SOME sort of strong point,
my guess is those bastard creations of wolves and slinkies are durable
as a cast iron frying pan. Once the job is done Vanilla proves his resourcefulness
by stopping the pursuing guards with a bomb the size of a package of airline
peanuts. If something so small can be so powerful, why did they need the
Roseanne Barr of lasers to get themselves into the holding cell?
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How many times have you thought "I need a form of hairy vermin that'll
put a poison in its victim preventing all speech for a week"? You may
not have, but in Uodoo city all you have to do is go to your local whore
and gun dealer and pick up a nice little sack o' Eunoi. Eunoi are little
balls of spiked fur with eyes. They're there mainly to exterminate vermin...
usch as corrupt police officers. I love the characters and actions of
Votoms, while they might seem a bit cartoony their situation is
just all too lovable for a n action freak like me. If they want to suspend
disbelief and have Chirico hold his own against a platoon of police troops
with just a handgun, bring it on, just as long as they show me some love
for the supporting characters. Between Vanilla's coolness and Coconna's
GIANT ASS, I could be happy forever. The scene with the AT aiming its
rocket launcher at the armored car and saying "Out!" made my day.
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