Virus Buster Serge #1

Manga

100 minutes
Japanese/English
English Subtitles
Released: 11/26/2002
Reviewed: 03/15/2005

I am sick so rarely that I sometimes convinced that I'm a sort of angelic super being sent down from the moon. Generally my solution for when I feel something coming on is this: Ignore it. I'll be really tired for the next few days as I try to battle my disease and break the world record for most alcoholic drinks consumed in one evening, but generally if I don't let it impact on my life in a significant way it goes away without me even being aware of it. Not so this week, when the ravages of some sort of throat infection forced me to the doctor where I spent around $60 on medication I don't want that doesn't seem to be working on me anyway.

The end result is that I'm so drugged up right now I barely know what day it is. Well, not really... but I wish I was! More truthfully I'm pumped so full of amoxicillin, codeine and ibuprofen that I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a ham sandwich and... a sandwich made of other things that aren't ham.** (un)Fortunately, my metaphysical sense of taste and perception have been left unfettered. Even through about six tablespoons of codeine I could tell that Virus was a raging pile of... non-ham sandwiches.

I didn't pay enough attention to learn the exact story of Virus, but, aside from Akira, you'd be prudent to avoid anything that focuses around a city described as "Neo". How many good Neo-Tokyos have their been? Not many. How many good "Neo-Hong Kongs"? Well... (and I'm basing this solely on Virus) none.

The gist of Virus's plot, though, has something to do with a virus (gasp) that's either learned how to take over machines or already could take over machines and a group of effeminate men and one burly woman who try and stop them. The girl also has catgirl fangs for no reason at all. This group, called STAND, predictably is out there to take care of the virus. Of course they're not very good at it yet. They haven't found their secret weapon!

Their "secret weapon" is some guy who lives in the slums. His name? Serge. Big shock, I know. Serge doesn't appear until the end of the second episode, when he comes into a top secret government meeting for no reason at all and shows up all the members of STAND by single-handedly destroying the berserk robot/powered suit that was causing big trouble and about to kill all the bigwigs in the country. Oh no, don't do that evil monster/person/microscopic disease whose motives I don't really understand!

Logically there's a government cover up, that seems to be the general gist of things. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm the type of guy for which a little federal finagling can sweeten an already delicious stew. Conversely, if you drop a plate of king crab into a bouillabaisse made of dirt then you're really not doing a whole lot to help the situation. Frankly, when a bad show starts throwing around conspiracies I start getting pissed and the desire to hit things brews up in me. I mean, look at me, I'm getting mad at the show for stuff it hasn't even DONE yet.

Virus is like a giant plate of doo doo that won't go away. It's sitting on your kitchen table and nobody knows who put it there and sure as hell nobody wants to touch it. Not even to throw it away!

But we do know who put the steaming pile of feces in our coffee nook. It was Masami Obari, whom you might remember from the plagiarism packed episodes five and six of Bubblegum Crisis and the piss poor character designs of Voltage Fighter Gowcaiser. Obari not only directs this piece of foetid waste, he also finds time to write the screenplay and storyboards while contributing to cinema history even more of the ugliest characters ever known. It's like this guy is a Renaissance man of filth. This is like having a guy who can both vomit AND urinate on your living room sofa at the same time. Nobody knows how he does it, but nobody really asked him to in the first place. Virus doesn't do anything in particular to push my buttons. It's not exploitative or filled with stupid cartoonish violence. It doesn't feature (excessively) dumb women or forced lesbian situations. The show doesn't manage to violate any of my cardinal rules, yet I still hate it. Shows don't have to be demeaning to be crap. Some are just bad on their own merits.