Trigun #7: Puppet Master Pioneer 75 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 03/27/2001

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I don't like watching Trigun discs for review. It's not something I can exactly explain, but I just have this aversion to writing about this show. Which sucks, because if I didn't I would've been able to relate a humorous anecdote about topless college girls somewhere in the area of four reviews ago. Such is life though, and I doubt I'd be able to change things even if I had the inclination to. Trigun is a merciless beast that haunts me in my dreams. All you really need to know is that, despite the fact that I've nearly soiled myself at the thought of writing this review up, I really do like this show. And, as we start reaching the very end of it I'm grateful, as this means I only have this one and the last to do. Eight disc series are always hard, and they're even harder when emotional content is provided to us in such a...bizarre way. You want to know what I mean? Well, I'll tell you, but the next time it's gonna cost you. We see maybe fifty people die in the short 75 minutes we're given with the show. That's a LOT, but Trigun infallibly will go back to certain conventions no matter how many evil, mind controlling little kids are killed in the span of an episode. This is probably sufficient to make even some of the most seasoned anime watchers run home to mommy because, frankly, it's hella-wierd. But I really think that's what makes Trigun stand out above everything else.

Now that I've gotten all fake philosophical on you, I'll do my best to never mention it again. Three more episodes with Vash and his crew, mostly centering around this "ship that failed to crash". Excuse me? I didn't like that the first time I heard it and you can be damn sure I still don't like it now. What is that supposed to mean? Last time I checked, crashing isn't something you exactly -fail- at. 'Hey wait guys, we're still flying around! Ooops! We failed to crash!' That's a statement you'll never hear anyone make, because it's insane. I guess I don't really have a say in the matter, there's probably a reason you don't see me in the credits at the end of each episode. What it boils down to is that this ship is one of the ones that Knives tried to crash and that Rem so valiantly tried to save (with her ENORMOUS RACK!**). It'd seem that this is the only one that actually managed not to go down (failed to crash!) and Vash returns there from time to time to catch up with grizzled old men who look like the Dahli Llama, get his metal arm fixed, and totally passive-agressively molest teenage girls while their boyfriends are looking on. Okay, so the last part is a little bit of a stretch, but I'm convinced that if you watch it -really- closely, you'll pick a little of that out yourself.

Sorrowfully, their happiness was not to be and a group of Gung-Ho Guns once again intrude on somebody's fun. You know, this little gang reminds me mostly of the grumpy kid who always had to ruin your birthday parties because he was getting whipped at home. Then, when he grew up, he got some wildly reconstructive surgery and turned himself into a giant bowling ball or living puppet, what have you. You never percieved it as a cry for help, but you probably don't have the canny wiles of Vash the Stampede. Then again, you probably stopped hanging out with Steve after he started buying giant armor parts to have grafted onto his body, that would've been the prudent thing to do anyway. Bowling balls, fine, I can deal with that. Trigun's shown us that you don't have to look anywhere near normal to be a villain (and also that haaving random bits of fencework sticking out of your jacket will improve your station in life). The real killer is the little kid Gung-Ho Gun who controls the giant sandworms from Dune. First off, the characters say that there's no way the worms could be around because they're on solid bedrock and then an explanation is never given as to why they are. That makes me mad! Well the little kid has a thing on his head that lets him mind-control the worms, sure, whatever, so he can mind control them. Can he give them magical super flight powers too? Because he'd pretty much have to!

That's all semantics though, I just wish they wouldn't bring something so unnecessary as that up without telling us -why- they brought it up. No, my real problem is with the choice of a kid villain and the actions that ensue because of this. One, if a little (evil) kid has a gun to my head, he's getting shot. Look, I care about child welfare and all of that, sure, but it's ridiculous to think that the same person who sent a whole bunch of giant invertebrates to kill a town isn't going to shoot your would-be girlfriend in the head next. Little kid or not, I would not hesitate in the pulling of my gigantic cross-gun's trigger. I guess that's why they call me "Dave Riley, man of action" and not "Vash, total wussy". I do understand that this is done for a reason, and the reason is not one to be mired in the more obvious aspects of the show. While I don't pretend to understand (or really care -too- much to understand) the entirety of Trigun's philsophy, I do think I get why they shoehorned a character like Zazie the Beast in. I mean, if you're going to be killing kids without remorse (even ones with with six shooters leveled to your head) then there's probably something wrong with you. To save "Super Hot Merle" though, there's a lot of things I wouldn't lose too much sleep over.

**Okay, maybe not.