Trigun #4:
Gung-Ho Guns
Pioneer
75 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
9/26/2000
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Trigun #4:
Pioneer
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First things first, as they always should be. I fucking hate clip shows. Basically, I understand why there's a necessity for them. They give the animators time to make new stuff and give them precious time off, all they have to do is make a couple minutes of show and cram it around a whole bunch of stuff we've already seen. So there, I said it. I know -why- they're necessary but that doesn't make it any easier on me. I'm sitting here paying $20 for a DVD that's already only three episodes and now you sit me down and tell me that I'm really only getting two episodes for my money? You know who would invent a system like that? Comunnists! Take a good hard look in a mirror Pioneer, and tell me if you REALLY think what you're doing is right. You all eat caivar off of gold plates and drive around in your diamond studded cars, you've totally forgotten about the little guy. I might've bought this disc three years ago, but it still hurts. And even pictures of our very favorite super-hot anime girl couldn't fix that for me. She's off center, she's looking preturbed and that's STILL not enough. I mean no disrespect to you Merle, but there's just bigger odds at stake right now. On that no, I mean no disrespect to YOU either, super hot Merle cosplayer from Otakon 2003 that I very much want to marry and make lots of babies with. |
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I know, I know, that was totally weird and to be honest I kind of meant it to be. I mean, there's just not a way you can logically segue into a statement like that. So yes, I do want to marry you ma'am...even though the only words we've ever exchanged to each other were "Do you mind posing for a picture?" and "Sure," those brief moments meant more to me than any other murmured expressions of loved shared over candelight dinner or during the heat of passion. I might not have a character I could feasibly cosplay with you, but I'm sure that we could make it work somehow. We just have to try. So yes, that WAS weird wasn't it? But there was a point to all of it. It was nothing so weird as the tremendous gestalt shift that occurs somewhere between episode eleven and episode twelve of this show. One moment we're all learning a valuble lesson about letting the love of your life go and not messing with an Insurance Girl's pudding from a couple of Romeo and Juliet clones and the next a whole town is exterminations in the blink of an eye by a very large man in a purple bodysuit who carries an even larger cannon strapped to his back. Ladies and gentleman, let me introduce you to your very first Gung-Ho Gun, Monev the Gale. Longtime readers of this site might find themselves a little put off, noticing that I actually got the name of that Gung-Ho Gung right. Or, they might...if I hadn't made it my personal mission to eradicate anyone who had even peripherally heard about my earliest reviews. |
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Anyway, the only reason I know the name of this guy is because Skabla owns the action figure of him, and it's a pretty sweet figure at that. Don't you worry, next week I'll be all casual and refer to guys by their imaginary names of "Binzo-Dongo" and "Shim-Shim-Shaladim" but for now I am 100% authentic, much like Tokyopop manga (only I actually AM authentic). Consider Trigun review #5 to be my Initial D manga and Trigun review #4 to be my...whatever the hell else Tokyopop has put out. I don't know, I don't read manga, though Andrew might tell you a rather verbose and exageratted story to the contrary. I swear, you pick up one book about giant robots and guys with huge eyebrows and all of a sudden you're reading Love Hina in his eyes.) Back to Trigun though, everybody dies. Well...not everybody. Vash is okay, and Merle and Milly and...Wolfwood too probably. So I guess there's a whole bunch of people that are alive, especially since crazy-eyes Vash the Stampede totally pussies out and doesn't waste the guy that just killed two hundred people. I guess there's something to be said in regards to "not sinking down to their level" but I'm just not seeing it. You know, when someone tries to mess with me I generally hit back. Then they'd probably stuff me in a trash can or something, but we all know who'd have the last laugh. |
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Probably them. Anyway, do you want to know what the Insurance Girls do when someone steps up to them? They go all squigly and sort of super deformed. Swtiching from goofy to serious is one thing, but no going all the way is entirely something else...and you all know I'm not down with that. It makes me mad that Trigun doesn't even have the grace not to combine the two in the same episode, nay...they can't even keep them five minutes apart! But what am I gonna do? I mean, if there's any show that could do it and get away with it it'd probably be something like Trigun, so I figure why not just get it out of the way while the going's good. It's all cool with me man. To be quite frank I'd take stuff like this to clip shows any day, the only problem is when two such things happen at the same time. That's just cruel, but I just can't play the blame game for the rest of my life. The only thing that's really killing my buzz right now is Pioneer's crappy low episode counts and the way I'm not privy to any super-hot short haired cosplayers right now. Anime, you've been a harsher mistress than I ever could have imagined. |
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