Sailor Moon Super S: The Movie Pioneer 60 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 08/15/2000

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I realized a couple things last night. One, I should really work harder on breaking my dress shoes in or at least getting a new pair to wear. The ones I wore Wednesday were so small that my little toe's nail hardcore cut up the one next to it. The result? Bloody socks. And last night, I wear the only other pair I have, knowing full well that they're just gonna bring the hammer down on the backs of my feet, which they did. Again, the result? Bloody socks. I'm freakin' tired of this crap. It's really hard to get stuff like that out of your laundry even if you use bleach. And the other thing I realized? I'm really going to miss these guys. As much as I bitch about my work, there are some good people there like Kevin, Roy, Matt. All solid guys that you can just sit down and have a cigarette with and it's all good. I might hate the job, but I love the co-workers. I guess you probably wanted to hear what I realized about Sailor Moon instead of listening to me wax nostalgic. Fair enough. 1) This show is just too weird for me. It's a managable teen show when the crazy villains aren't going around screwing everything up...but once they do forget it. I'm out like a gentile in a Jewish sauna. 2) I really don't want to watch any more of this show for quite sometime. After three hours in two days I've just about had it with everything it does. Luckily we've reached the end of the Sailor Moon re-reviews just like I've reached the end of my time here at the Palladium once again, and seeing how it's gonna be shut down soon, possibly forever. Goodbye Palladium and Sailor Moon we'll miss you both...but for very different reasons.

If you thought the other two movies were too strange for your liking you better just stop reading now. This one's about a pied piper who entices children onto his flying gondola by promising them as many sweets they can eat. He then flies them all to this absolutely -enormous- woman who locks them in little crystal coffins and proceeds to drain their "dream energy" or whatever. I was under the impression that this show couldn't get any more out there than it already is and I was sorely, SORELY mistaken. And how does the pied piper do his deed? Why, with a magical flute of course, a magical flute that makes all the children following him sing a rather kickin' song about mint pies and chocolate pudding. I'm kind of glad they didn't dub the song over, because what we've got here is really pretty good. Then again, I tend to think a lot of music would sound better with just a little Japanese in it. Hence my plan to translate "Eye of the Tiger" into the native language of that eastern country. However, I can't help but thing that it's going to end up just being "Heart of Madness" from Fist of the Northstar. Now there's a song I could really kick some ass too. But I'd have to join a hairband and learn how to headbang really well.

This one's gonna be rough because there really wasn't enough non-evil monster stuff for me to comment on. The absolute best scene is when the three Outer senshi start giving their speech in the dub about how candy rots your teeth and whatever else. It was like a damn after school special! You can't intentionally make funny this good. Or hot, if you're talking about Haruka. Now I'm not saying she's Priss material or anything, far from it. But when you're watching a show you have absolutely no interest in you've gotta find something to latch onto. And as if giant flowers and ice fairies weren't bad enough for villains, we're now given flying babies made out of candy and little elves that'd turn into birds when they die like some sort of weird Sonic : The Hedgehog reference. I'm sorry, but can't the bad guy just be something normal? I know you've got like...a giant robot or something stored in the wings back there. What's next? My guess is monsters who have arms for legs and legs for arms! Nah...that's not quite strange enough.

And the transformation sequences. Good god the transformation sequences. Some of them seem to last half a minute or more, and when Usagi uses that stupid scepter it plays that same annoying ring three times in a row. It sounds just like someone's cellphone going off in a movie theatre and it makes me want to hurt people almost as much. Luckily they still shout out their special moves, which I found myself switching over to the Japanese track to listen to. Seriously, which would you rather listen to? The bland, English "Dead Scream" or the slick Japanese "Deido Sukurimu". I think the choice is obvious. On that note, I'm also glad there's at least one girl in the show over the age of twelve. So enough's enough. I've put in my time both with my job and Sailor Moon. While my job has enriched my wallet, Sailor Moon has enriched my spirit. I now know that I should spend as little time watching this show if I can. But if I'm forced there better but one of those ultra-sultry Haruka transformation scenes. The rest of you losers can get the hell out.