Saber Marionette J #2 Bandai 200 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 04/17/2001

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So I decided that this time I'd do a spread of the evil marionettes. More mature than the marionettes of Japoness, it's a good thing. As you might note, I have a special interest in the firemaned Tiger (as if that would come as a shock to anyone). This particular shot would be from the fan-service episode containing the "Marionette Contest". While it's certainly more benign than other shows with these kind of episodes and you won't see any underaged lesbians trying to mack on other underage lesbians, it can still be a bit much at times. Though I must admit I was partial to the cowgirl costume of Tiger. My enjoyment of it is a little worse than you might think, as I couldn't even decide which picture to use. Take heart that I had at least three other pictures, possibly four of different poses. They were all so very good. Frankly, what else could you expect from this man? (Besides him saying "You want -everything-?! Ohohohoho!)** Yes, there's a little Tsukasa Kotobuki in all of us I'd like to think. That man is a voice of the people and he knows exactly what we want. While the look of the Japoness Marionettes might be a bit stupid, with those ridiculous balls on their heads and such, the Gartlant ones are the height of style.

 

Certainly it's not entirely not because of the crazy military dress uniforms they wear. You know what's the easiest way to reel me in? A girl wearaing a tie and a sweet hat, and riding pants I guess...but those are optional. Tiger has all of those things AND a whip. So Tsukasa Kotobuki, I salute you. You've made everyone's dream possible and it just took a little ink and a few colored markers. I'd consider that a small price to pay for such perfection. It's a shame that Panther has such a stupid eyepatch. But that's not my main concern. What I find most appaling is the horrid miscasting that seems to run rampant in this dub. As I mentioned last time Lime is a pretty big offender, but Tiger is almost worse I'd venture to say. Now, I'm not one to exactly go around saying that I love original language and I'll only watch subs, you know that, but damn if this dub doesn't miss out in so many places. Tiger sounds like a whiny five year old girl at times, which is not exactly what I'd expect from a faux-Nazi woman that carries a freaking WHIP. I'm sorry Venus, but I think it might be better if you stuck to X-men Evolution.

Seeing this all I could do is scream Shermie, but the thing is Shermie wasn't in King of Fighters until '97 while SMJ came out in '96. Interested? I certainly am! I'm interested in knowing how the crew and creators of Saber Marionette J invented a time machine that was capable of taking them one to three years into the future so that they could acquire a copy of the famed SNK game and steal Shermie's ingenious character design. Those Japanese bastards think they're clever, but I'm on to them. Forget about all that for right now. At one point in these eight episodes, Tiger pulls her hat down over her eyes and that's just about the coolest thing I've ever seen in an anime that didn't involve giant robots or 80s hair metal songs. It's not exactly enough to rectify the mistakes of this show's ADR (Is it the ADR? Probably not. But I really wanted to use that in some review, sometime). In all fairness, you can't really expect it to be. This show was animated years before it was dubbed, I figure there's not much than can be done. Then again, with all those TIME MACHINES the Japanese seem to be waving in our faces day and night, I don't exactly know what to think.

 

What I do know is that Saber Marionette J is more than just a show with cool character designs. I don't think I've touched up this quite enough yet, but there's some serious crap going on in this...serious emotional crap. Do you remember when you took a squirrel in from outside in the cold but then you locked it up and it died? Well neither do I really, but Lime does! I'll be quite honest with you when I say that I've -never- seen a naive character done well -anywhere- in anime except here. Cherry might be the stereotypical housewife and lord knows Bloodberry is pretty mundane in her "bitchy but loving" role, but Lime is something else all together. Innocent, unaware of the world around her. Despite her stupid hairstyle, she's got a lot to teach us I think. Saber Marionette J, if nothing else, is a real show. People actually fail at things, which is something I rather enjoy seeing. Because lord knows every other show would have you believe it's an easy task to save a painting from a freaking BURNING BUILDING. And while that crazy Wild West sounding song was playing as Otaru tried his damndest to save everyone from what I believe is called a "Plasma Tornado" I might've imagined a single tear coming to my eye. It didn't fall though, because that'd be for sissies...but the emotion was there all the same. Thank you Saber Marionette J, thank you for super hot cowboy redheads, thank you for super hot bathing redheads and thank you for Lime. I knew you Far Easterners would get it right sometime.

**I promise I'll never use an inside joke again. But that one was just too good to pass up.