Sorcerer Hunters #1:
Magical Encounters

165 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
Released: 03/20/2001
Reviewed: 05/24/2005

There comes a time in any anime fan's life where he admits to the world that he has a crush on various bits of cellulite or, otherwise, images saved on a computer. Whatever the media, the result is the same. This man has ostracized himself. It doesn't help that, in the majority of cases, the proposed fetish is a girl in the age range of 10-14. Precocious as she might be, there's something wrong with desiring an 8th grader. Even if she has the ability to do quadratic equations in her head and pilot a starship at the same time, that "shit" just "ain't right".

So here I am, loyal readers, about to divulge to you what might be one of the greatest infatuations of my short life on this lovely planet Earth. That girl is the wonderful Chocolate Misu. As you can see, pictured left, she's a sassy redhead that doesn't take guff from no one. What that picture cannot reveal is that I am actually, 100%, totally in love with this woman. Chocolate's alternate costume, assumed when there's some serious asskicking to dispense, looks like a wicked combination of cowgirl and SS Agent. As luck would have it, this happens to be 90% of the thing that turns me on about anime girls! Who knew, right?

Most of what I remember about the release of this show, some four years ago, was the horrid complaints about the box art. Since I didn't (and still don't) really care about the show, the cover suits me just fine. I suppose the new one looks better, but I own the box with the trashy MS Paint style design and that's what's going up on my site. Try as they might, I refuse to let ADV bury their secrets.

Sorcerer Hunters would appear to be the travails and trials of a group of mercenaries who are sent out on encapsulated, 20 minute missions. These missions generally entail defeating evil wizards and wizardesses who have terribly complex and pointless plans that usually involve putting young women in peril. This would all sound very normal for a fantasy anime were it not for the fact that their "fixer" happens to be a benevolent deity in the sky named -- I hope you're sitting down for this one -- "Big Momma". Oh yeah, and the main character, Carrot, is a perverted lech who, when he isn't turning into a giant monster, spends most of his time chasing around women and asking them what color their panties are.

The only part of these seven episodes that was even remotely worthwhile (aside from this sexy pirate lady) is the one where the female personification of a lake chooses one human every century to decide whether or not she's going to destroy the world. Predictably, our lecherous main character is the one in the driver's seat. Even more predictably, we find out that he's got a heart of gold underneath his throbbing desire for everything with breasts. The episode kind of sucked, fine. It's probably nothing we haven't seen before. The reason I loved it so is because I realized that he and I are not so different. He's an asshole that spends all his time trying to get laid and I'm an asshole who spends all his time trying to get laid. It touched me right down to my very core.

Otherwise... eeeeh. The rest of the Sorcerer Hunters are similarly annoying caricatures. Both Chocolate and her sister Tira are nice, doting girls who aren't afraid to whip the hell out of Carrot when he does something they consider untoward. The only difference between them is that Tira is annoying as hell and Chocolate is annoying and hot. Carrot's brother Marron is suitably effeminate and, if I know the Japanese, probably homosexual. And the blond muscleman Gateau apparently doesn't even rank high enough as a character to get his name mentioned in the show.

The one redeeming thing about about this show is that images like this and this somehow go on to fund ridiculously sexy cosplay things like this lady.** I'm not sure what the source of that image is, I assume it's something despicable and lascivious. But taken out of context, it's certainly easy riding for someone like me. I can stare at that picture (properly censored) and just imagine all the kind of fun things a pretty lady like that would do with me. Backgammon and euchre, possibly a side game of Parcheesi. The options are endless!

Every once in awhile a character comes down that's so absolutely enthralling that an otherwise normal man is happy to throw away everything he holds as sacred and socially acceptable to scream his love for the whole world to hear. For at least the next few days, that girl is Chocolate Misu. Woe to any unfortunate woman that falls into my path while out suspender shopping. Sorcerer Hunters can have a couple points for imbuing me with a new sexual fetish. It's too bad that I'm going to have to take those points right back. In the end the only thing this show has the ability to contribute to is the severe weakening of my moral character. This extremely large animated .GIF I made doesn't help either.