Pokemon
#5 : Thunder Shock!

Pioneer

60 minutes
English Dub only
05/18/1999

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I've been lax on my reviews lately because I've been out late every night, and I'm the only person at my job that has to work this week. Get it? Everyone has a vacation BUT me. So I haven't been writing because I get in/goto sleep well after midnight, and I just didn't feel like doing anything for the past few days. Someone told me yesterday that I have way too much of a social life to be on the internet. They instructed me to burn my connection and go back out to getting drunk and getting laid. Yes, it's true I'm out 'til three some nights...I think people just don't realize that I'm strill pretty much a loser I am. I don't know, maybe the majority of twenty and thirty-something anime fans are blown away by the fact that people don't always have parents keeping them in on weekdays and giving a curfew of eleven PM on the weekends.** So that's why there's been nothing new for a few days.

 

Ash is back on the road, back on the road and LOST. When I used to play the Pokemon gameboy game I had no problem, all the stuff moved in a straight line because there were impenetrable trees in all the directions you weren't supposed to go. So what's the problem? How can the three of them get lost between every town? This does give the gang a good chance to go on more poke-adventures though. Vermillion city, and the Thunder Gym (assuming that's what it's called) is their next destination and Ash will be damned if he's not gonna get his next badge. Misty takes this choice time to remind Ash of the fact that the gym leaders he's beaten have GIVEN him his badges and he's never actually CAUGHT a pokemon, they all just decided to follow him. I'm a bit confused though, I'm sure Ash caught that Pidgey, he beat the crap outta the poor thing.

So Ash goes out onto the beach and stumbles upon a tiny Crabby (A crab-type pokemon, as if you didn't know) after a hetectic battle in which, for some reason, he decides to NOT use his pokemon...he captures Crabby by thrashing it with a stick. Then the pokeball disappears! He's all confused until, once again, Misty steps in and tells him to shut the hell up...trainers can only walk around with six pokemon at a time and Crabby was teleported to Professor Oak's place. That's when they notice the lighthouse in the distance, Brock suggests making some double cheeseburgers to the lighthouse keeper, Bill, and the weary travelers are graciously let in. Bill seems to be a bit of a freak though, he walks around in a giant pokemon costume because he believes that getting inside a pokemon "helps him understand what they are thinking". Do YOU believe that? I think someone who wants to be friends with a giant godzilla-esque pokemon might be just a little wacko, it doesn't help that he speaks in this weird british voice either.

 
Screw that, my patience is wearing thin, let's get on to the heart of the matter. In Vermillion city the Gym Master's name is Lieutenant Surge. He's a big guy in army fatigues that enjoys calling people "baby" and beating them with his fatass Raichu. Raichu, for those who don't know, is the evolved version of Pikachu. So of course, Ash's wussy baby pokemon can't handle it and is beaten to a pulp. In a very emotional scene Nurse Joy offers Ash a thunder stone, the item that would evolve his Pikachu into a Raichu, but Pikachu gets up from his sick bed and whacks the stone with his tail...symbolizing that if he's gonna win...he's gonna win HIS way. That's when Brock comes up with a plan...by the end of the episode even Team Rocket is cheering for Ash. Crazy old Team Rocket.

 
Pokemon Hot Girl #5 : Surge's Girl.
Surge's Girl never really talks, never is given a name, and only has about three seconds screen time. It was a tough choice between her and the rich girl in episode 15, but Surge's Girl gives off a strong vibe and doesn't speak in a Texas accent. She's immediately attractive because she's so tough looking, a strong outside with a no doubt tender heart. While she might hide her emotions under a mask of apathy and solitude, she just needs the right guy to come along and show her how wonderful love can be. All that's left is to find out if you're him. Then again, with a wardrobe like that...maybe she's not into guys at all.


The final episode holds a bit of nostalgia for me, it's the first Pokemon episode aired in the US and the first one I've ever seen. This adventre involves the group getting on a wonderful pokemon cruise aboard the St. Anne. Team Rocket is close behind, still set on stealing Pikachu from Ash, but disaster strikes as James is suckered into buying a Magikarp*** by a shady Latino bastard. As his compatriots reveal, the Magikarp isn't a money making dream and the supposed solid gold pokeball was only gold PLATED. Meowth and Jessie aren't happy with James spending their paychecks on that piece of crap. Then disaster strikes (again) and the boat starts sinking for no reason, Ash's crew and Team Rocket are trapped on the ship as it slowly makes its way to the bottom of the ocean. Surely they're doomed!

**Damn, that was pretty harsh of me.

***Magikarp, in case you don't know, is the worst of all pokemon. It only has one attack, "Splash" and it doesn't even do any damage...it just makes your guy look retarded as he tries to attack the opponent with the ancient technique of little kids in the wading pool. I never used this "attack" in water, so I don't know if it did damage then... I was too busy trying to make the run away from all the other pokemon as fast as possible.