Pokemon
#3 : The Sisters Of Cerulean City
Pioneer
60 minutes
English
Dub only
03/09/1999
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Pokemon
Pioneer
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Misty : Pikachu, you're a Pika-pal! Poor Misty, seems she's got a bit of a problem. You see, Ash is all riled up over the fact that Gary's catching more Pokemon than him so he hurries it up and decides to high-tail it to Cerulean city to pick up a Cascade badge. Misty is not very happy about this, for reasons she keeps secret as long as she can, and tries to convince the boys to head to Vermillion city so they can hang out on the beach instead. Even the call of beach girls in beach bikinis isn't enough to change the stoic Brock from the course of the video game and so it's off to the watery Cerulean city, home of the sensational sisters of the Cerulean gym. |
| As it turns out, the incredibly beautiful sisters of the Cerulean city gym are the bratty, valley girl siblings of Misty herself. The tomboy in her force the girl to leave town, promising never to return until she became a great pokemon master. However, when the girls need a bit of help battling Ash because the other trainers from Pallet town have kicked all their asses...Misty shows some familial love and steps up to the plate. Only to have the dastardly Team Rocket show up and spoil all the fun with their giant vacuum cleaner designed to suck up all the pokemon. It really only gets the gym leaders' Seel, but who can blame the three misfits for trying their very hardest to please their boss? |  |
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From there on it's a journey to meet AJ, the sadistic pokemon trainer who shows on the outside what everyone is feeling on the inside, pokemon are there to be abused in an effort to increase your own self-worth. If his whips and bondage gear aren't enough to toughen those damn Butterfree and Ratatta into shape then maybe they should get the hell out! AJ has even built his own gym that isn't sanctioned by the pokemon league. In a furious display of the deadly powers inherent in some pokemon, AJ's own Sandshrew carves a seemingly bottomless fissure into the middle of the arena, at AJ's command! Pokemon are dangerous creatures and should be kept in some sort of protective bubble device to keep them away from the sane and normal world. Team Rocket seems to agree with my philosophy as, next thing you know, they're in a giant plastic ball contrived in another one of their hairbrained scams to kidnap Ash's "special" Pikachu. Thinking about it in retrospect, Pikachu is kind of a pokemon Jesus, breaking the shackles of his oppressors and selflessly standing up against what he knows is wrong** all for the sake of his downtrodden and cowardly brothers who allow themselves to beat and wound each other at the bequest of their slave drivers. Pikachu is a martyr hero for poke-kind. All should respect the grave risks he takes to ensure the future and prosperity of his race. Worship that furry rat bastard you fools, before the same dire fate befalls you! |
| Finally the gang heads off to Pokemon Tech, the MIT for little kids who are too lazy or feeble to actually go out into the field on their own. At Pokemon Tech all you have to do is attend classes and on graduation you're automatically entered into the Pokemon league without all the trouble of doing the real stuff like taking a "Pokemon journey" and "collecting badges". Going to Pokemon Tech is like playing Tecmo Football, it's there so the wusses who can't do the real deal still get a chance to have some fun with something that's related to a physical activity. They walk around in their suit jackets and short shorts looking all rich and powerful, but I bet none of them could throw a baseball like a real man (I wish I could throw a baseball like a real man). After Ash's squad is done with them they realize that it's not nice to be mean to people like poor Joe and admantly decide to change their ways. Like some sort of Deus Ex Machina Ash walks off into the sunset, leaving everyone in awe of how easily the problems they never knew they had were fixed. |  |
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This disc's hotgirl is the high ranking student of Pokemon
Tech, Jazelle. Though she might be too young to set of Brock's "babe o' meter"
this girl has legs to spare and a smile that'd have you throwing your pokeballs
and superpotions at her for just a single hope at getting play. But like many
rich girls, she's more tease than anything else, don't plan on finding her
in the back seat of your car after you buy her dinner because she'd sooner
die than let your middle-class hands get all over her. After Ash meanders
on through she realizes that there's more to life than being stuck up and
putting other people down and tries to make reparations with the poor, underappreciated
Joe. Still, you have to wonder about a girl who says she keeps pictures of
her friends with her wherever she goes.
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