Pet Shop of Horrors

120 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
02/27/2001

I love updating for you guys, really, I do. It's just that without a working computer I can't really do anything but sit around and think about what kind of awesome reviews I could write if only I had the means to do so. Which means that I come to Jerry's every Friday and sit at his computer for like two or three hours typing, taking screen caps, and leaving offensive messages on his desktop. Jerry, to his credit, is very obliging to this. All the same, he's got Mega Man Battle Network 2 for the GBA and that's one of the most fun games I think I've ever played. So instead of getting to fool around with that I'm here, typing up reviews for you. It also didn't help that HIS computer was busted last week. So enjoy the five review update! It's a new record!
Okay, let's get our first things out of the way first. Pet Shop of Horrors is a stupid fucking name. When I make an anime it's going to be called "Convenience Store of Dread" and we'll see how well that little thing sells. So I was put off by the name. Then I was pretty put off that it's a stupid plot to begin with. Apparently there's this guy named "Count D" in Chinatown that owns a shop selling exotic pets.

Yeah, exotic pets...of MURDER! With every animal he gives away some crazy-ass contract that the owners have to follow to the letter otherwise the creature goes all Tanya Harding on them. He seems to sell some normal animals, but the show focuses more on the "Girl who's actually a rabbit" and "Giant evil lizard thing" than anything else. The petshop in China Town is where you can get all your heart desires. Provided your heart desires getting rent apart and eaten by a giant freaking fish. Count D, of course, claims no responsibilities. He's signed a contract! And for the most part these people are morons anyway, so maybe he's providing the world a useful service.
When I read the blurb on the back of the box, though, I became very excited. Seems like a detective named "Leon" is determined to take down the Count for whatever crime it is that he's comitting. I immediately was conjuring up images of Bubblegum Crisis's Leon. Whether it be 2032 or 2040 didn't really matter to me. He could have poffy hair or shoulders as wide as a barn and I'd be happy. Also, the surname "S. Kennedy" might help matters a little.

But sadly, such things were not to be. Our Leon here is neither of Bubblegum Crisis or Resident Evil fame. Leon's some crappy detective straight from 1891. He's wearing the t-shirt with the meaningless logo and the leather jacket with the sleeves rolled up. I mean, this guy might as well just jump on his moped and put an end to all this. He's no Leon McNichols, not by a long shot. And the guy's pretty dumb too, he's constantly barging down doors and asking Count D why there are hordes of evil man eating rabbits infesting the city. I mean, come ON.
In a way I guess the show's about the rivalry/friendship between Count D and Leon. In another, more accurate way, it's like a Japanese Tales from the Crypt, which I'm proud to say I thought of before I saw it on the cover of the DVD case. And Greg was there to prove it! Every episode is it's own little self controlled story, with a similar theme of getting a pet to replace a loss running through it. Listen, if your wife dies...get a dog, a cat, a damn -goldfish-. Don't buy yourself the evil reptile from Jason and the freakin' Argonauts.

The dub is a bit liberal and I gotta admit it worries me for other Urban Vision releases. Though, it's not as bad -some- dubs. *cough*Angel Cop*cough*. It's not a hack job, there's just some differences between the subtitles and the English script that I would've preferred not to have changed. Also, I'd suggest not even bothering with the commentary. Normally I don't watch extras, and to be fair I really didn't this time, after about 5 minutes of it I just turned it off. If you're looking for insight, look somewhere else.
It's weird, but Pet Shop of Horrors is one of the few animes I've watched recently that's just plain...average. Like I have nothing to say on it one way or the other. Maybe part of it's the fact that it's so familiar to our culture makes it feel more like a normal American TV show to me. Simply giving the characters blond hair (and I mean real, American, blond. Not the fake anime kind) totally changes the feel of the show. It's not bad by any account, but I can watch reruns of Tales from the Crypt twice a night if I'm so inclined.