Outlaw Star #2

Bandai

225 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
12/05/2000

I am not the brightest person you might meet, but you probably know this already. What you don't know is that when watching the second set of Outlaw Star episodes I somehow managed to watch the discs in the wrong order. Needless to say I didn't understand why Aisha was so mad at Gene after they were getting along so civily just one episode prior, and I thought I must've missed something in the last episode because she was screaming about how she finally found him, and I thought she already DID find him. Outlaw Star is a tricky beast, and only in a show as episodic is this would I be able to make that mistake. You'd think that I'd figure it out when she mentioned never having seen the ship before when she certainly DID see the ship before, but I guess that's why I've repeated fourth grade twice in my life.

Things are pretty much the same on the Outlaw Star though. The crew's still getting into wild adventures, most of which don't make any sense because of the supposed status of "greatest ship in the galaxy" the Outlaw Star holds. If it's so great then how come they don't take the first space in the space race? If they're so great how come they can't win a simple gunfight? If they're so great how come the ship's anti missle defense is a GIANT HANDGUN held by an equally giant ARM?!

That last point probably has nothing to do with greatness one way or the other, I just wanted to get it out in the open. In case you don't know by now, I'm not exactly down with the whole idea of "grappler ships" and their stupid arms that they use for fighting. Not only that, but these things are like all purpose Black and Decker arms. Chainsaws, drills. You want to know what the boarding mechanism is on the Outlaw Star? It's a giant, phallic tube that shoots right through the ship you're trying to board. It might just be my old fashioned ways talking, but doesn't that sound absolutely insane? Who made this show, mental patients? That's about the only thing that could account for it.
We'red saved though because the seventh episode on this set (second if you watch it "Dave style") features a sea captain that looks like he's suffering from every type of Skurvy known to man. You know what's even better than space pirate captains? Space pirate captains voiced by MIKE REYNOLDS who blow themselves up at the end of the episode. Those famililar with Mike's long and daring career would know that he's no stranger to characters that commit suicide in the most violent of fashions. I need only refer you to the excellent Alien rip-off Lily C.A.T. which STILL isn't on DVD even though a whole bunch of other crap is.

But Mike Reynolds and missle lauching robot dogs aren't all that Outlaw Star has to offer in this nine episode series. It's also got some of the coolest choreography anime has ever scene. I'm talking mostly about the fight scene around episode 14 or 15 wherein the majority of the crew is stuck up in space while our beloved assasin Suzuka and the maligned cat-girl Aisha do some detective work down below. I need only to refer you to Aisha's moves when beset by a group of knife weilding jewelry theives. Her kick, jump spinning kick, ROAR is one of the coolest things I've ever had the pleasure of seeing during the extent of my short life. Ladies and gentleman, there's no softer way to say it. My waffle has been blown.

It's a shame that things like that are rare and weirdness like mind controlling cacti are common. While I'm not hating on it completely, as it is a bit more refreshing than say, some half-naked chick with a machine gun...it's still just too plain weird for me. I said it in the last review too, this show is too weird for its own good. Telepathic Cacti, frilly bow-in-hair wearing green haired girl-boys and guns that look more like a Buddist staff than anything else. Forgive my understatement but sometimes I just don't "get" it with this show.

The whole crossdressing thing is pretty unacceptable too. It's better done than in other shows where the main characters forced to dress up, and they actually have something that could be a semi-legitimate reason for it. However, this doesn't make it okay by any stretch of the imagination. The whole concept is a bit out of whack, "Strongest Women" competitions, who actually likes that stuff? Tomorrow the doctors of the world might discover that eating a burrito slathered in cream cheese with promote long life and good health, but I sure as hell wouldn't do it. I like women , and I like fight scenes...but sometimes you just don't want to the two of them to be mixed.
Okay. I lied. The only reason I didn't want to watch that whole thing was because creepy man-women scare me almost as much as crazy girl-men do. To be honest with you though, Outlaw Star's got a lot more good points that I neglected to mention. It's just a lot more fun to rip at a show than it is to compliment it. Again, at 9 episodes for like $30 there's certainly worse ways to spend your money. Despite the '3' I've given it Outlaw Star is probably one of the better shows that's on the market right now. Mike Reynolds, robot dogs, and badass fight scenes. You could do a lot worse, then again...with all the uncomfortable implied man-on-man love of Fred Lowe, you could do a lot better too.