Neon Genesis Evangelion #3 ADV 75 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 01/23/2001

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I hate to say it, but there are just some times that I can't bear to watch the show I'm reviewing anymore. This tends to be more of a problem with shows I've already watched before, but when Evangelion comes into the mix it gets even worse. At this point the show isn't just crazy, it's crazy boring! So about halfway through the second episode of this disc I couldn't take it any more. I started reading some of my Bubblegum Crisis Grand Mal. I know that's kind of like letting yourself get stabbed in the stomach to avoid a knife to the eye, but I think there's a lot of things I would let Bubblegum Crisis do to me that I'm more than a bit ashamed to admit in polite company. The same is not true for Evangelion though, where almost every "Coming Next" preview on this disc promises more fan-service. I hate you, like, seriously. A series that purports itself to be somewhat realistic and somewhat serious sure goes to some awful big extents to goof around about every issue and not maintain any continuity whatsoever. You know what the 80 foot giant robots get transported in? Planes. Judging by how these planes look, they're about a hundred and sixty feet long. Do you have any idea how big that is? And how is a plane supposed to haul something half its length and composed entirely of metal plating? I don't know, you should probably ask Hideki Anno that question.

 

But I'm sure he'd just start bitching to you about his childhood so that's not exactly the greatest idea in the world. I think everyone knows that Shinji is pretty much supposed to be him, and that begs the question who would want to hang around with this guy? Nobody, that's who. So the way I see it Evangelion is basically his way of getting back at the world for ignoring him. He probably has wet dreams about getting in that giant robot and mowing down rows of houses and whatnot. Then he saves the world and everyone loves him but now he doesn't NEED their affection. Too bad for him that his total lack of outside contact gave him basically no idea about the simplest of human relationships. You know, my parents might've liked my brother a hell of a lot more than me, but I don't think my dad ever went out of his way to sleep with some underaged emotionless clones. Maybe my family wasn't the norm though, I don't know. But it goes further than that. Most of the "strategies" for taking down the angels at this point are just getting more and more retarded. Asuka, playing the show off, screws up (like every other female lead in an anime ever) and then she and Shinji have to learn how to utilize the power of team work to win the battle. Do you know what this team work entails? A fucking dance class! Yes, they're going to defeat the evil monster using the power of their aerobic exercises! Does anyone find this absolutely ridiculous besides me? The choreography on the actual fight scene is pretty cool, but that doesn't hide the fact that it's still completely nonsensical.

 

For example. How do they know exactly what the angel is going to do? How do they know when it's going to attack? If they DO have a reason for knowing all these things the show never deigns to tell you. In the beginning, keeping you in the dark was kind of cool, but now it's just getting more and more pointless. It doesn't help that they completely ignores things its already established too. Why does the rifle do absolute squat against every monster so far, but when they really need it to work and it's the only weapon they have it turns the giant spider one into so much gooey confetti? Hooray teamwork! On another matter, why is Unit 00 suddenly blue? It was orange before, but it's like they decided to give it a new coat of paint for, again, no real reason whatsoever. That just makes me mad. Did the crew get bored one night and do it as a prank? I guess we'll never know! And who could forget more gratuitous sexual references? Shinji getting yelled at for looking up Asuka's skirt AGAIN. Pseudo-sexual dialogue between Misato and Asuka while in the hot spring causes Shinji, on the other side, to pop a woody. I don't know who thinks this kind of stuff is cool and I don't care to know. It's not cool, it's stupid and childish. I used to make jokes about "peepees" and "weewees" too, but I was about twelve years old. Apparently the writers haven't matured past that age yet.

 

You might notice a preponderance of Asuka pictures here. And honestly, there were gonna be more. While Rei still gets no part Asuka's yelling at Shinji or making him uncomfortable in nearly every scene. Frankly, the addition of Asuka was a mistake entirely in my opinion. What does she add to the show? Anything? She's either pushing everyone around or acting like a total cry baby. People like that get kicked to the curb in real life faster than Mr. Anno himself would. I wanted to make all the pictures of Asuka looking pissed in one fashion or another. Believe me, it wouldn't have been hard at all either. I could probably fill the next two or three reviews with nothing but. However, I soon thought better of it and so I threw in a random robot picture and a shot of Ritsuko. Why Ritsuko? Because she's not wearing the choker she so sexily attired herself in last disc. That's not cool man. You can't just do something like position yourself among the most attractively drawn animated characters in existence only to get rid of it the very next time. Does that not seem right to anyone else? While we're on the subject, does Kaji smelling her like a horny dog seem okay? As sad as it is, Kaji's sexual addiction and semi-molestations are probably the most normal things in this steadily sinking ship of a show. And you know when I say something like that... well, that's just plain not cool. So forget you Hideki Anno. I can't believe I have to watch fifteen more episodes of this junk.