Neon Genesis Evangelion #2 ADV 120 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 11/21/2000

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I hope you understand that when I say someone is "hot" or "cool" in an anime it's generally just me joking around and nothing to be taken seriously. It's not like I'm one of those weird people that you see around all the time. What are they called again? Oh yeah, anime fans. Even the whole space pirate thing I've been going on about recently. Sure if we have the technology to accomplish such a feat I'd certainly be more serious about it, but I don't think there's going to be anything in the foreseeable future that's going to make my dream of playing a game of "hide the salami" with a super sexy eyepatch wearing woman in Zero-G a reality.** But there's one thing I most certainly will NOT joke around about, and that is women in chokers. You've seen me mention it before, and it always warms my heart to see an anime hottie sporting one of those things. Can it improve a bad or mediocre anime? Probably not, but it certainly goes a long way in keeping me entertained. The beauty mark doesn't hurt either. You know what they say about a woman with a mole in the path of her tears, right? Neither do I, but that doesn't matter. I suppose that's one of the things I can actually enjoy about Evangelion. The character's costumes actually change. They don't change as much as I might like them to, but that's just something you'll have to accept with the animated medium. Among the other things I can honestly say I like about this show are the interesting cuts and the way the camera works. Hideki Anno has (or had) some directional promise, I wouldn't try to take that away from him. But all in all there are better robot shows out there and there's better philosophy shows out there. Hell, there's better robot philosophy shows out there, so why should anyone bother watching Evangelion at all? I guess there's always the reason that everyone else has seen it twice (fansubbed) and if you haven't watched it then you're probably doomed to be labeled an outcast... from a subculture that's comprised of outcasts. That's real nice.

You want to know what I don't like though? Stupid crap. Stupid crap like that "Angel" over that. It's not so much the name I have qualms with as it is the form. That's an angel? It's a geometric shape that shoots lasers! Who the fuck cares?! I certainly don't. Do you want to know why I don't care? Because I'm not playing FUCKING TETRIS. I don't like the designs of most of the other angels in the show either, but this one really takes the cake. Why should that scare me? It doesn't have a face, it doesn't even have HANDS! I guess it does have a giant drill that comes out of nowhere, but I think that causes me to hate it even more than its simple shape could ever do. So once again all that crap just comes rushing back at me. The progressive knife, again. I can't get over it, it looks like a box cutter! And let's not forget the giant super powered electric sniper rifle that takes down our good friend Octogontus. I could've sworn that I saw Unit 01 silently mouth the words "skill shot" while he took the bastard out, but maybe it was just my imagination. I'll lay it right out, the animation of the fuse being swapped out by the bolt action WAS really cool... it's just that the idea of it at all really strikes this chord with me and it's one that I don't like. It's like one of those chords in a really high octave that sounds really sharp in your left ear but not your right.

Maybe that's just me. The problem is, as much as I don't like Evangelion I can't just bash it. The show did make a huge contribution to anime and anime fandom as a whole. There's just so much that makes me hate. What makes me love, however, is the musical score. Shiro Sagisu composed some seriously excellent music here, though I can't seem to find his name on anything out. Too bad everything's marred by the ending theme though. Whatever the remix du episode might be I just can't bear to listen to Fly Me to the Moon so horribly butchered by one of the worst accents I've ever heard in my short time on this green planet. Poor Frank Sinatra, rolling in his grave I bet he is. I'm all about women singing songs obviously meant for men, there's just something sexy about that. But when they can't get their constants straight it kind of puts a damper on whatever sexy mood might've been portrayed. Again, maybe it's just me. Anyway. Another four episodes, another annoying character introduced. Hi, I'm Asuka "the firebrand with appropriately colored hair who doesn't trust anyone because of a troubled past (more on that later in the series) but act like a four year old when around the older man I have a crush on" Langley-Sohryuu. That's dumb. Shinji was a semi-interesting character because at least he was different He might have been annoying but he was something you don't often see in anime. Asuka's pretty much the same as anyone else you'd see in a show like this, or in a show like any other. Her first appearance involves her slapping someone because they slipped and looked up her dress. Holy crap! What is wrong with you people? How can this happen in nine out of ten shows? If this has occurred even once in the world outside animated entertainment then I'd really, really be surprised.

Kaji, however, is something else entirely. I might like him because he's a total ass to everyone, because he never shaves and never straightens his tie, or maybe because his sleeves are always rolled up, but I think the main thing that makes him so lovable is that he's the only character in the show that isn't a total wack job. I hate to spoil it for all you faithful readers, but let me just tell you that later in the show a certain character has slept with EVERYONE. Mothers, daughters, scary clone people. It doesn't matter. I wouldn't consider myself a man of particularly discerning tastes, but that just seems a bit far to me. Shinji's a pussy, Rei's a psychotic obsessive, Asuka's the total whiny bitch and that's just the tip of the iceberg! If you think it's bad now then you really have no idea what's coming up in future episodes. To make matters even worse, in the Japanese track Shinji is voiced by a woman. I will never be able to understand that. There are men that have fairly high voices, hell you could go really overboard and get a younger voice actor. I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work! It's not like this is a problem symptomatic to only Japanese versions either. I might not particularly enjoy the job Spike Spencer did, but at least I can be confident that he's got the right equipment to play the part. Please don't take that as me having some sort of hidden desire to look at Mr. Spencer's package... that's just weird...

**Prove me wrong NASA!