M.D. Geist

CPM

91 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
02/09/1999

You know, I just don't get it. On the surface this looks like something I'd totally be into. You've got robots, you've got your hard-core old school style animation, biker gangs intent on running the world by their own rules, there's even some serious music over action and let me tell you... it's in full effect. This stuff is all the way live. It sounds like something more than perfect, right? So why does it suck more than anything you or I has seen in recent times? All I know is that I should've shown more sense when I picked this up years ago and held true to my own advice on the subject of anime "I tend to be wary of anything where heads explode on a regular basis".

And it's true, if heads exploding is your kind of thing then you might've found a companion in the two OVAs that comprise M.D. Geist. But on the off chance that you're a sane and reasonable human being then it's more likely that you'll have absolute no interest in this show, which is a damn shame. It's not a shame because you're missing out or anything, more because this thing should've been so much better than it was. Sort of like when you're watching the end of Amazing Nurse Nanako. I don't know about you guys, but all I could think while viewing that was "This show might actually be pretty good if it was directed by someone else entirely and if it was nothing like what it was.

But to be fair, that would be like saying "This piece of moldy cheese would be awesome if it were a juicy watermelon". That's not gonna happen, nor is M.D. Geist going to be anything better than the giant waste of an hour and a half that it is. Maybe I'm missing out on something, but I just can't understand this ultra-gore fetish that some of these people in the eastern hemisphere are so attracted too. Maybe it's the next big thing as far as fetishes are concerned, maybe it's a coping mechanism because they always got their Pocky stolen from them in grade school, I don't know. But one thing is for certain and that is that Koichi Ohata has some sort of deep resentment towards authority, because anyone in a position of power gets taken down faster than a half gallon of rocky road while our good Filipino friend is around.

As far as I can tell, the moral of M.D. Geist is that you should never help someone ever, and you should never trust anyone who's trying to save the world or the people therein. In FACT, if you meet one of these altruistic bastards then your only resort is to stab a giant pipe through them or crush their head like a bunch of grapes. A harsh lesson, I know, but Ohata seems like he's more than willing to spread his antiestablishment message to all those who will listen. I'm not saying that all the people in this show are good guys, or even any of them as far as I can tell, but the way I figure it though... if someone's trying to turn off the program that activates a whole bunch of evil robots that will destroy all of mankind then killing him probably isn't the best plan you could set in motion.

But the title character is more than willing to go the extra step. He not only KILLS the guy, he makes sure the "evil world destroy robot" program goes into operation. Why? Fuck if I know. Geist is like the big guy who invites himself to all your parties. He's a total asshole but he's so tough that nobody can tell him what to do for fear of giant pipe impalings or whatever else he might have in store for you. Then he drinks all your beer and breaks the thing that's protecting you from the plague of evil robots. Because life on the planet that seems to be comprised entirely of deserts wasn't hard enough. I mean, seriously, what the hell is this guy's problem? The first time I saw it, I thought it was kind of cool that the main character is some sort of devil-may care I'll do what I want soldier, but upon watching it for the third time I find myself less and less enamored with how things turn out.

But who is M.D. Geist? Well, he's a super soldier from some secret experiment that got a bit too crazy for his commanding officers and so the shipped him off into space.** Sound familiar? It should, because it's been in EVERYTHING ELSE EVER MADE. True, though, there's a little spin on this one. See, Geist isn't a good guy that was charged with crimes he didn't commit. He really is crazy and he really is a dick, and it's a shame they don't make cryogenic space satellite prisons like they used to because it seems like Geist was up in space for about a day and a half before he's rocketing back down to earth and killing a whole bunch of people for no real reason whatsoever.

The second episode focuses on another Most Dangerous Soldier, Krauser. Krauser's crazy too, don't get me wrong, but at least he just wants people to like him. Krauser's the kid who would give you his entire lunch every day if you'd be his friend, willing starving himself for some basic, human companionship. He's also blue, which is weird, but if a blue kid wanted to give me a free turkey sandwich every day then who am I to argue? But god save that little Smurf bastard if there's no mayo on it, because then he's gonna get it. If there's one thing I can't stand it's a dry turkey sandwich. Unfortunately for Krauser and the mess of humanity he's protecting, Geist decides that the one thing HE can't stand is letting anyone live for any reason whatsoever, unless he's used them as bait for evil robots... then they're okay with him.

And that's basically how it goes. Someone does something to try and help people and then Geist goes and blows them up (or as mentioned before, stabs them with a pipe) and then he goes about fucking humanity over big time. Way to go dude, you really made out this time. If this sounds like it'd be a good ride to you, it's probably not. In fact, the only thing I could really say was worthwhile was the Fighttech armor designs. Ohata's mech designs are awesome. But there are just so many better things you could watch. Angel Cop, for example. That's right, I would've never though I'd see the day when I'd suggest Angel Cop over anything short of a colostomy but I guess there's a first time for everything. M.D. Geist though, it's had its first time and if I were a betting man I wouldn't wager on it getting a second. (Or a third, in the case of my reviews) I hate you M.D. Geist.

**I have a theory about an alternate reason though, they were all jealous of his sexy sexy voice. It says he was voiced by Jason Beck in the dub, but I'm pretty sure that's Barry White's nom du screen.