Macross Plus #2 Manga 90 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 10/12/1999

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Yoko Kano can suck me, suck me long and hard. She might think she's so great with her high paying job and her cushy penthouse apartments and her cabana boys and whatever else she's got, but just because the Macross Anthem never fails to bring a tear to my eye, and Information High is just so perfect every time it comes on doesn't mean that I owe her diddly squat for anything. One day I'm gonna show her some damn fine music and all the Tank!s and Bad Dog, No Biscuits in the world aren't gonna bring her once loyal fans back to her table. Something about sad sounding songs always makes me feel a bit down. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pussy. It's been like eight or nine years since I last cried. All the same, when you see such majestic shots of the SDF-1 and the band playing to welcome all the delegates, how can you not get at least a little misty eyed? I'm a human being here, not a robot.

But Sharon Apple sure is! And a crazy freakin' one at that! Have you ever dated a girl that has to call you all the time? That gets pissed off when you hang out with your other, real friends? Would rather be dead than not be with you? Gets mad for some strange reason when you cheat on her (twice)? Well let me tell you I have! And it's no picnic I won't hesitate to say. While some of you out there might think it'd be great fun to have a girl who's gonna want to do everything for you, I'm here to warn all you people out there that it's quickly gonna go from crazy bipolar sex to crazy bipolar"I'm gonna mount your kidney on my wall" and let me tell you, no freakin' roast beef in the world is gonna keep me in that relationship. Isamu Dyson's got a bit of the same problem with Sharon Apple. Seems the cliché mad scientist voiced by David Lucas in the dub did something he wasn't supposed to (like all clichéd mad scientists do) and puts this weird microchip in Sharon that gives her a real personality. One just shy of a tentacle rape scene later and Myung's tied up while Sharon waits for Isamu to come... so she can kill him.

I'm sorry Sharon, but that's just plain weird. And it's not as if I don't know weird, I think I've already proven that. As if that's not enough Guld and Isamu have to deal with the fact that their funding's getting cut off and they're now not only out of a job, but they're not allowed to do the thing they love the most. The culprit? The same weird microchip used to make Sharon go all nutjob is installed in the first unmanned fighter. If this thing works then they don't need pilots anymore, right? So in some crazy quest to prove that the unmanned fighter sucks he flies all the way to earth with the chronically underused computer nerd in tow. Sometimes I wish the big dumbass would just swallow his pride because no people flying jets means no dying people. After that my next wish is for a gun so I can BLOW MY HEAD OFF for actually thinking that a self-aware robot would be a good idea. Let me reiterate, anything not exclusively controlled by a man = bad. I cannot possible stress that enough. I'm the kind of person who won't even buy an electric can opener. I'm afraid it would interface with the rest of my shit and plan my untimely demise.

I'll thank the baby Jesus that we're treated to some Robo-fighting in the final episode of the series. They also finally delve a bit more deeply into the past of the starring character's love triangle. Even though Guld's a total jerk and two steps away from being a rapist, I still think he's really cool. Mainly because I can totally empathize with him. Not from HIS standpoint, but I can understand where he's coming from. He's like the person that always gets mad at me for being reckless and irresponsible. I know what he's going through because it's not the first time I've seen it. Somehow things always end up working out for me, and that must really piss of people that have to develop like, a strong work ethic. There really isn't a single time in the entire show where Macross Plus slackens off. I'm sure there would be a spot or two but that's where they insert some of Ms. Kano's finer pieces so it's not like you even notice. I'll tell you this though, Yoko, you better watch your back. Because soon I'll be queen of the mountain. Er, king. I meant king.