Heat Guy J #1 Pioneer 100 minutes Japanese/English English Subtitles 07/29/2003

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You know, when I first heard about this show you can bet your sweet ass I was looking forward to it. Why wouldn't I be? This show has all the essentials that makes things good. Not only does it involve the adventures and misadventures of a special provisionary section of the police force, but one of the officers of this small group is a freaking ROBOT. A robot that has to be a good nine or ten feet, which is a rarity nowadays. However, I was noticeably leery... as whenever I think a show sounds awesome it's always wrong. Things got even worse when I found out that there was some serious Escaflowne talent behind this thing. Don't get me wrong, if I were an angsty fourteen year old girl with a fetish for angel wings and overly effeminate men then I'd probably be all about the character designs, but as it is I am not any of these things and as such you'll find no love for me in regards to Kazuki Akane's work. Sorry if you're saddened by that my Eastern brother, but that's just how it goes. Weird, shiny semitransparent hair really just isn't my type of thing.

Nor are guys named Claire. I must've been raised differently than the Mafioso residents of Fudoh city, but where I come from "Claire" is a girl's name. I would imagine that this is the way the people who brought you Escaflowne "kick it up a notch". Not only are their characters girly, they're now given girly names. Of course, in the style of Dilandau, Claire is some kind of crazy sociopathic pyromaniac. It would seem that in the mind of the newly appointment Mafia don, any day where he doesn't stuff a live grenade in the mouth of an overweight Triad leader is a day he didn't get enough done. And one would guess that's where the Special Unit from City Safety Management comes in. Much like the ill-conceived and plot hole ridden Minority Report, their job is is to stop crimes before they happen. Only they don't do it with a bunch of retarded eunuchs and stupid wooden balls. No, the Special Unit is more of a nitty gritty type of operation, despite the head detective's proclivity towards girlish locks. 'round about here is where the steam powered (one assumes) robot named J comes in.

Judging by the other characters in the show, J is about ten feet tall. He's also one of the few designs I can look at in this thing without the strong urge to cough up a lung overtake me. Decidedly more angular than anyone else, J is more akin to one of those "wiser old men" types that we've come to know and love. Everyone knows that the best part of Escaflowne was Balgus, and there's no reason to go against precedent here. J is the man, a philosophizing badass robot who certainly doesn't mind driving his metal fist into (and through!) any miscreant that happens to get in his way. Be it illegal immigrant or sword carrying genetically altered werewolf, J shows no quarter. Better than that, he doesn't die in the second episode... which is bragable. It's just a damn shame that he looks so ugly and CGed whenever he sheds his skin. Unfortunately for us, it would seem that that's just the name of the game as far as this show is concerned. Maybe this is a new trend in anime that I've missed out on, but I thought animators were kind of done with their obsession with overly obvious CG animation. That stuff is especially tedious when it's in the very same frame as something that looks very clean and normal. I understand that it's probably cheaper and easier to do it this way, but I don't think it'll ever sit well with me. Forget CG. I hate that crap more than I hate Skabs (and that's a lot)!

Nevermind all that though. CG or not, there's a special spot in my heart for anyone wearing a fedora, robot or not. Daisuke Aurora, on the other hand, could use a haircut and a few year's worth of facial hair, in my opinion. I can stand J's ponytail, but sometimes enough's enough. For all his girly prancing, though, Daisuke does his share of the work too. Disarming bombs made by Korean Starcraft players and macking on fly short haired honnies that I could only dream of attaining, Daisuke makes me wonder if long, girly hair is really as bad as I've been saying it is. I think that was just a moment of weakness, so don't you worry fair readers. It's not something that'll happen again. Something that WILL happen again, though, is me buying more DVDs of Heat Guy J. I don't watch much new anime nowadays, so it's a pretty pleasant surprise when it actually works out for me. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm now the proud owner of my very first collectable box, and that box belongs to a series named Heat Guy J.