Giant Robo #1 :
The Day The Earth Stood Still

Media Blasters

100 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
Released: 10/26/2004
Reviewed: 05/03/2005


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I've had what some might consider a particularly poor showing the past couple weeks after a truly excellent semester of updating every single week. Many times twice a week! Well, as soon as finals came into full swing that notion was a thing of the past. This week I hope to rectify all such things with a few chilling reads, posted on what would be my very birthday. Having a birthday in May kind of sucks when you're in college, I won't lie to you. Nobody wants to get blasted when they have a final the next day (except me). Fortunately, I'm sure the other 92% of my life when I am NOT in college will probably work out just fine.

I'm not really an "old school" anime fan, but certainly I am not a part of the crowd that's cropped up since Pokemon and Adult Swim started conquering the air waves. As such, I guess I'm more like a "middle-school" fan. I got into anime when I was a kid and didn't have a lot of money, so sure I was watching in 1992, but it was Akira and Dragonball Z on television and whatever the local video store was fortunate enough to own, 90% of which was Bubblegum Crisis-related. As such, I missed out on a few classics just by virtue of me infrequently being able to spend $1 a minute (essentially the price of a VHS tape back then[tm]) for goofy cartoons from the Far East.


One of those poor, poor shows that never saw the light of day (or the TV set I had stashed in my closet because my parents wouldn't let me have one) was Giant Robo which, as I understand it, is a mismash of references and characters from stuff that comes before it. I could try to quote you a source for that, but I'm not entirely sure that I didn't imagine it in some perverted fever dream. Frankly, I'm not willing to risk exposing myself like that. For now, let's guess that it's a mishmash of references and ignore the fact that I have sex dreams about robots.

References or not, Giant Robo is easy listening. And by easy listening, I mean the show grabs you by the ears and vomits in your mouth and you like it. This is not something for anyone who cares about one iota of reality. Big Fire, an evil organization comprised entirely of members in funny hats and robes, plans to take over (or possibly destroy) the world. Their reasons are unclear, but their how is not. They will take control of the revolutionary power sources known as the Shizuma Drives, which are essentially really big batteries that now power everything in the world. If your car runs out of juice, just plug a new Shizuma in.


We can't just let this faked up Klu Klux Klan get away with this, though! On the side of good are the Mighty Experts of Justice. Though we're told that this is an international organization, the members seem composed solely of the Japanese (maybe one Chinese guy). The FRENCH GUY has a Japanese name. Their members have special powers like Buddist spells, guns, and pretending to be the robot from Street Fighter 3 (for no visible tactical reason). some even have the rare ability to get drunk. If someone had told me that was qualifications for a superhero position then I would've been in tight spandex years ago and I would've been getting paid for what I do anyway on my lunch break and before job interviews!

Oh yeah, and there's a robot too. He sort of just hangs out with this twelve year old in short-shorts.


Suffice it to say, if you have any love for a benign, forgotten concept like 'realism' then you will not like this show. People be doing crazy crap like jumping around swinging axes at helicopters and hanging the dead bodies of scientists from Notre Dame for days on end. Where Giant Robo is concerned these things are so far on the low end of the "crazy" spectrum that they could almost be considered normal by comparison. Apparently a nuclear powered robot is not only safe, but it's prefered to the method of power that supposedly runs clean and is 100% recyclable.

Giant Robo quite obviously knows that it's ridiculous. People are jumping around highways turning into horses and doing crap like this somthing like twenty times every minute. And then there's a train that transforms into giant SCORPION ROBOT and chases the heroes down a crowded road and somehow these evil doers are part of a secret underground organization? No, nobody writes crap like that without understanding how nuts it is. And that's what I like! If someone made a show about maids that was actually a parody instead of just some freaky sex romp that SAID it was a parody then by god, I might like a maid show! As it is, Giant Robo is more of that ancient style of robo-story telling that has suited us so well through the years. If you can't handle crazy, you can't handle Giant Robo. But if you can... well... the third volume would make an excellent birthday present for me.