Gasaraki #2:
The Circle Opens

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75 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
11/28/2000

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I'm really sorry about last time, I got so swept up in what I was saying that by the time I finished writing the review I realized that I hadn't actually said a single word about what the show was about. I can't promise I'll try harder this time, but I will promise that I'll try to try.

Gasaraki's story ties into a lot of things, but the most prominent is Japan's Gowa Industries. A privately owned company, they've manufactured these things called Tactical Armors, I don't want to get any of you in the home audience excited but "TA" is a code word for "fucking awesome robot". And it's not one of those sissy robots like in Evangelion whose most advanced weapon is an electric turkey carver and have to be connected by to base like a giant fetus otherwise they run out of power. They're also a more modest sixteen feet tall versus Evangelion's ridiculous 80 or so. I mean, I'm all for the really giant fighting robots, but there's a time and a place for them and it's not in a stupid series so loaded with angst that you can barely find your way out. Basically, what I'm saying is buy Gasaraki and don't give that other crappy show another moment's thought. You'll be glad you listened to me.

 

Anyway, when we left things off the JSSDF's TAs had just secured an ancient holy site of great importance to the country of Belgistan, a mock up of Iraq circa, well, about not. Oddly prophetic, Gasaraki shows all the hesitance of a UN coalition to attack a country with confirmed weapons of mass destruction. However, they left out the part where North Korea HAS nuclear weapons and is very capable of using them. Oh well, I guess hindsight is 20/20. Regardless, it's kind of eerie just how accurate the first few episodes of this show is.

There's just a few things Saddam left out. First, it's 2003 where the hell are the robots to bring in a new style of warfare like the world has never seen before? Also, Belgistan's weapons of mass destruction aren't so much weapons of mass destruction as they are GIANT LASERS from some sort of ceremony that for an unexplained reason, generates more energy than a power plant. However, I'm willing to deal with it because there's no adolescent kids running around whining about how much their fathers hate them.

No, Gasaraki is all about fifteen year old kids who have a bigger set of cojones than myself and my crew combined, and that includes Greg! I wouldn't want to fuck with the teenager who can let his heart rate surge above 300 and still be able to control a robot with only slightly more junk in the trunk than the mother of yours truly. Be grateful though, because for a giant robot show there's a surprising lack of teenagers running around. Aside from the two main characters, everyone seems to be above the ripe old age of twenty one. Gasaraki is like the old man of anime, the characters saving the world this time are ten years older than one would expect. I guess this is because they don't have magic wands that let them transform and aren't imbued with "the power of love".

But it's easy to tell how different Gasaraki is from your standard fare just because of the excellent directing of the opening theme, not even the show itself. The crescendo of the music, the whipping along of belts of ammunition, the huff of an out of breath girl, it's all done so perfectly in time you'll wonder if Gasaraki was a creator of the lord himself and if people like us should even be allowed to watch it. But don't feel bad, because it's perfectly alright to find appreciation in something beautiful. You certainly won't glean it from your mongoloid children.

 

Don't that as trying to be offensive, please, because I'd gladly bash any children I had against the rocks as if I were an inhabitant of Jerry's much beloved native land to protect the splendor that is this show. Don't let me love is all things political drama dissuade you, it's just as good as my biases would make it out to be. If you've ever thought a robot was kind of cool in any way then I earnestly beg you to stop depriving yourself of the enjoyment this show brings. Take a moment to stop making cracks about your friend's mother and how you gave it to her in the holiest of holies, take the 75 minutes this disc takes to watch.

Gasaraki is solidly put together, and as I've said before, very real. The robots are bulky, slow, and very military. Sure, they can move around pretty damn quick sometimes but there's reasons given for it. I'd believe that Skabla's mom was attractive as long as you could give me a halfway convincing argument. You want your bipedal robots to take out a whole clutch of tanks without so much of a scratch? That's fine with me, but you better be willing to expose for a good fifteen minutes afterwards as to why they COULD. Blessedly, Gasaraki does all this and more.