El Hazard: The Alternative World #3: The Ruler Of The Universe Pioneer 75 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 11/23/1999

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I had to watch it sometime. The second set of El Hazard TV didn't interest me as much as I thought it would, that is, until this disc. Now, it's not really fair to say that "After seven episodes I started to like it". I'm sure if you fed me nothing but horseradish and ass grease for a month I'd start to become acclimated to it before I curled up in a ball and vomited myself to an early grave. I'm not saying The Alternative World is that bad, it's just, like I've said before, pretty mediocre. The production is off the charts, music? Perfect. Art? Perfect.** More Jinnai! More Fujisawa! Don't you think Jinnai looks pretty damn good in a suit? I can totally see why all the scary bug queen ladies want him. So Fatora's been captured by the leader of the guard, Gilda. As it turns out, Gilda is planning a little coup. She has to save the empire and that idiot Emperor Dall isn't gonna do anything but get all drunk and start laughing around everywhere. Gilda has taken it upon herself to use the immense power of the Spring Of Life to fight off the engaging hordes and give them a lesson in old school ass whoopin' as administered by your teacher, one pretty lady. I can see why Princess Fatora has the mad hots for her, she could put me in on of those weird hanging cages any day! Rrrrrowl!

 

It seems like I know every Pioneer dub actor the world has ever seen. There's Milly from Trigun as Nanami, and even Tanya from Battle Athletes Victory as Ura, that mobile armored cat-thingy. You know, the grey thing with the tail that talks all funny. I can't be bothered with feline semantics! Boy does The Alternative World have a good dub too. I've been so used to the poorly timed ones of CPM and the sometimes dumbed down scripts of ADV that I think I'd forgotten some of the pleasure of just sitting down to watch a show without having to actually READ anything. What a relief it was to hear the character call the oden, well... oden. Nothing pisses the fanbase off more than to hear that changed to "noodles" or something the dub. No siree! That's a MAJOR plot point right there, how else would we know what the characters are eating?

 

So what's the story with this? Seems everyone's just coming right together now. They're all migrating in from their collective points on the globe towards the castle of Creteria. Trust me, considering all the weight Jinnai put on it was quite a relief to see him down to his significantly less "fat ass" self. Not a moment too soon, as it seems the dire foreshadowing on Gilda's part of rebels attacking the castle is actually true. The army of Volcana or some such place is on the way and they've already managed to take out two battalions or companies or platoons or something. My point is how did a little village manage to take out anything? They better have guns, or bombs, or flying livestock or something otherwise it just plain wouldn't make sense.

 

What should I say? I'm sorta starting to enjoy the show now, but I don't know if it's just because I forced myself to stay interested in it for this long or if it's actually getting pretty good. It's a tough call to make, damn... I need something funny to say here.

**Well, okay, Afura Mann looks pretty damn weird. But with a last name like Mann. Who wouldn't be at least a little cautious of... certain things?