Dirty Pair #1:
Girls With Guns
ADV
125 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
07/17/2001
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Dirty Pair #1:
ADV
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Kei: They should've made it handsomer, then it would've interested
me more. I like Sunrise, I fucking LOVE Sunrise. I feel like an idiot saying that, because everyone does. I'm not gonna get all uppity and act like I don't like them because it's too mainstream, but it pisses me off when I like something/one that EVERYONE else does. I hate anime fans and I totally wish they would stop trying to steal my life. That ain't cool man, that just ain't cool. |
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But I love Dirty Pair and I finally got it. Let me tell you how much I like this show, I bought it for retail price. Compounded on the fact that it's an ADV disc, that means I could've bought almost TWO DVDs for the price I paid for it. Was it worth it? Oh yes, it was worth it. Dirty Pair is the third DVD out of three hundred that I've paid retail for, so you better believe I've got a good reason to pick up something without a 30% discount and astronomical shipping charges. As if a magical bolt of lightning from god hit me, the disc doesn't have a SINGLE front end trailer. That's right, ADV put out a disc without trailers in it, at all. Unless they're in the extras section, which is a more than likely possibility. It's refreshing to sit back and watch something good and completely ridiculous, even if I do have to pause the show to take five minutes to explain to someone exactly why Dirty Pair is so wonderful that it might convince you to sleep with it. This is the old standby and fan favorite, girls with guns anime. And unlike stuff like Bubblegum Crisis you're allowed to enjoy it without feeling like a total moron in the process. Unlike stuff like Burn Up W, it doesn't suck. |
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Kei (the redheaded firebrand) and Yuri (the raven haired, levelheaded one) are "Trouble Consultants" working for the 3WA, the World Wide Welfare Association, under the code name "Lovely Angels", though they're more often referred to as The Dirty Pair. Though it's never really said in these episodes, as most people know (fan or not) it's because they end pretty much every mission worse off than it started. From destroying a weather satellite (thus causing massive tornados) to blowing up a space casino, there girls really don't know when enough's enough. Don't let their revealing clothes and Michael Jackson gloves fool you though, these aren't your normal gun toting heroines and the majority of their brain doesn't have a permanent residence in their enormous tits. Kei and Yuri are the kinda girls I'd show my daughter as role models. "Now Dave Junior (her name), I want you to grow up just like them, be really cute in an insane sort of way, and cause ridiculous amounts of trouble with damage estimates in the millions of dollars." Then I'm come out of my "pretending box" and go back into the real world, because me having a daughter would be like an elephant having a giraffe. It only happens in Disney movies, between those funny secret parts the artists slip in, like giving the priests erections and drawing penises all over the place. Kei is my A #1 player, as if anyone had to ask. She's the hotheaded one constantly chided by Yuri for, well, being hotheaded. But that's how I likes 'em, rough and tumble and tomboyish. Seeing her in that little green suit with the hat will most likely get me every time, as studies would show. |
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While the girls are more than busty things that blow other things up, the show really isn't much more than that. There are no lesbian overtones, a rarity in this style, and they've got this instant rapport that I guess only cartoon characters can achieve. It's hilarious, farfetched, laid back, good natured fun. Fairly unexplotative and utterly rewatchable, Dirty Pair won't be causing any epiphanies, other than the fact that you'll realize that you want a girl like THAT and not one that calls you at -exactly- 1:30 pm every single day of the week. Grin at references to James Bond and The Terminator, gawk as the man in the Arab costume cries out for the help of Allah every few seconds. I'd promised myself I'd never say this, but Dirty Pair is absolutely ridiculous, and it's still good. Kei and Yuri's eyes boggle uncontrollably as a giant boulder descends towards them, their giant pet bear-thing Mughi gives a despondent sigh as he's forced to wear an outfit more suitable to a 1920's entertainer, and little kids take over military bases. What show will take the archetypal rich men's battle on a casino, put the casino in space and change the standard card game fare into one involving GIANT METEORS? Dirty Pair, that's what. |
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