Dai-Guard #2:
To Serve and Defend
ADV
100 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
Released: 11/12/2002
Reviewed: 12/06/2005
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Dai-Guard #2:
ADV
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It's almost par for the course for me to pick up something I like and then never watch anything about it ever again. I have a busy schedule of work and alcoholism! Something really has to infuriate me to have a guaranteed chance of getting railed on and chatted about at every last moment. By the same token, if I really really like something then I will gladly go out of my way to pay exorbitant retail prices for each coming DVD rather than suffer the agony of waiting 3-5 days to order it online. Then there's anomalies like Gantz, which I don't really like... but I really want to like, and that's enough for me to continue picking up stuff even after the ridiculous crap they pull every, I don't know, FOUR SECONDS. But before I let myself get carried away by something that actually does engender a emotional response from me, we'll just that that I'm as fickle with anime as I am with any other facet of my life. For a moment let's try to sit down, focus, and talk about Dai-Guard. It is what you're all here for, isn't it? The magnanimous** cherry cordial of robot anime parody? Much like that tasty candy, there's a bit to wade through in Dai-Guard before you get to the good stuff. |
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You might remember that, something like a year and a half ago, I liked Dai-Guard, but -- in the tradition of school yard crushes -- I didn't LIKE-like it. So, much like Jewel in my sixth grade math class, Dai-Guard was discarded until such a time at which I was sufficiently bored enough to pick it up again. What has been going on in the Dai-Guard universe? Well to tell the truth I'd all but forgotten, but it's not like that ended up being a big deal. The main characters were easy enough to remember, but only because they're such delightfully classy stereotypes that there's no way the seasoned robot fan could forget them. Come on, the hotheaded youth leader? The cold-as-ice, calculating second in command? The brazen girl who's SO TIRED OF YOU LOOKING AT HER TITS(!)? They are characters that I've been learning to love for the past 30 years. Yes, in fact, before I was even born I enjoyed these types of things! These cardboard cut-outs are the wheels that makes the machine of giant robot anime tick. All we need is a fat sidekick dude to die heroically in second to last episode and we should be all set. |
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Non-stereotypes (at least, giant robot pilot stereotypes) aside though, I don't remember any of these other people. The Dai-Guard corporate offices appear to have no less than three socially awkward fat guys, though only one tries to make any moves on the numerous and sizably attractive female cast. As is to be expected, he's summarily rebuked for his forward nature and much "hilarity" ensues. Or so I expect I'm supposed to feel when fat guys get made fun of in cartoons. I guess I don't know a whole lot about these sorts of situations, but then again... I was never ingrained with a Japanese sense of humor. One character I rather do like is that of the man pictured left. I don't exactly recall his name, or position, or date of birth, or martial status, but I do know I like him. The fact that he's voiced by Mick "I act with cotton balls in my mouth" D'Arcy only sweetens the deal! They might call him Agent Sumiya, as I believe that's his given moniker, but to really "kick it up a notch" we have to show our love by apply our own conventions to him. Now this delightful man, who fits the mold of 'straight laced military man who learns to bend the rules when the situation calls for it' will be called "The Indomitable Agent S", TIAS for short. And what a guy he is! Dai-Guard shows that he can leap the generational gap with the greatest of ease when he becomes good friends with the brash and impulsive lead pilot Akagi. |
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I don't wanna go too far with this, but I think the both of them learn a little something about each other's methods, and that come out feeling wiser and better for it. But like I said, let's not jump the gun here. Akagi and TIAS is right now 15% of the reason to watch this show. That would sound unimpressive, I guess, if the other 85% wasn't comprised of hardcore rockin' robot strategizing! While I could do without the dumb-ass stereotype of the hyperactive sixteen year old BOUNCYBOUNCYBOUNCY home-base support chick, Dai-Guard's other clichéd characters are good enough to continue the fun even in the face of great adversity from horny fat guys and overly loud large breasted girls who just can't get enough of themselves. They are the disgusting dark chocolate shell which hides inside itself the delicious robot action and good stereotypes that makes Dai-Guard what it is and not just another lame-ass robot show about girls with big breasts. It's not the top of the heap, but it's certainly got a better shot at getting through my screening process than the next episode of Terminal Breast Invasion 20X+. |
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