Card Captor Sakura #1

Pioneer

100 minutes
Japanese
English Subtitles
11/14/2000

It's been a long time coming my friends. After a year and a half of relative freedom I find myself once again trapped in the domain I most hate. The Palladium and Gold Standard, where twelve hour work days are the norm and the first time you make a layout for a party is NEVER the right way to do it. Yes, I have missed this, like a war survivor misses his burning gut wound. But the scars are still there to remind me. Apparently my scars didn't remind me enough, because here I am in the job that was never any fun (Save for my pal Roy). I guess it's all good though, I'm getting some cash and that copy of Metroid Prime ain't gonna pay for itself. Though I sure do wish it would.
So I guess what I'm trying to tell you, fair reader, is that we're going back to the old school. For the two days I'm spending in the office you can expect to see two re-reviews a day of the very first (and very worst) reviews I've ever written. Way back in the day when this site didn't even have its own domain name. Some of you might remember that... Andrew and Joel for example, I think that's about it. I believe I got a grand total of one other e-mail from a person in all that time. Since we registered fan-service.com that number has skyrocketed to three confirmed readers.** Things are looking up!

I'm gonna lay it out for you right here. Longtime readers of the site know for a fact that I'm a straight shooter, that I don't beat around the bush (Unless it's your mothers bush, of course). Card Captor Sakura is a great show... for its target audience. It's my opinion that if you're over the age of say, fourteen, you really have no business watching it. And if you're a man then you have no business dressing up in a sailor outfit and carrying around a magic wand, but that's besides the point. Basically what I'm trying to say is that while this show is enjoyable, if you're over the age of ten you're really not going to get much out of it. I don't really like Card Captor Sakura, but I respect it for what it is.
And what it is a magical girl show. While it's better than others I've seen, that doesn't exactly make it something you want to dip in gold and frame on your wall either. It's just a normal show about a girl who gets magical powers by accident and goes around capturing mischievous spirits like some sort of cross between Sailor Moon and Pokemon. If I was an eight year old girl I'm sure I'd be willing to kill my mother to watch this show, but as it is... I just fell asleep watching it. You know, me not being an eight year old girl and all.

It does have a few advantages over your typical Sailor Moon fare. The badguys aren't retarded mishmashes of whatever the main theme of the show is. The style of art and the animation quality is actually pretty stunning, and the characters don't run around acting like total morons and then for some mystical reason turn into these super composed scientific geniuses. Sakura's a girl new to magical powers and it shows in how surprised she acts around her newfound skills. She'd much rather be obsessing over her older brother's cute friend than going around in her rollerblades trying to track down evil magic cards.
Let me reiterate if you missed this the first time. If you are a man, you have no reason in this world or the next to EVER WEAR A COSTUME SAKURA DOES. For that matter, I really don't think adults should be dressing up in costume, aside from the occasional theme party. And even if that rare circumstance the whole point of those things is to get drunk off your ass so the designated driver can take pictures of you in your stupid getups and use them to blackmail you later. That'll learn you for not going sober that night! Looks like you'll never forget the effeminate pirates and trucker chicks bash you had last weekend, no matter how much you may want to.

I don't want to sound too complimentary, but Card Captor Sakura probably deserves more than a three. All the same, it's a little kids show and I don't like little kids shows, so for me it'd get a two or less. I figured I'd reach a happy little compromise and if any of you people want to complain, grow up. I won't insult you for the obvious reason that you like cartoons because I like them too. Your favorite show is made for little girls a third of your age! If that's not a clear warning sign for some sort of "crazy" they haven't even thought up yet, you better get your nose out of that "100% Authentic" TokyoPOP Manga and go see a head doctor before you start humping your dog's leg. I've never really been a fan of Clamp aside from the odd one or two things. Their style is just too weird for me, and I never really was quite down with the Shoujo stuff anyway. Despite that, I can still respect a good show when I see it. I give the girls at Clamp props for making a sugary sweet show that appeals to exactly who it should.
In conclusion: Card Captor Sakura good for eight year old little girls. Bad for 30 year old men who like to dress up in skirts.

**Well, aside from all the ones who come here by accident looking for tentacle porn. No, I'm serious.