Bounty Dog
Manga
60 minutes
English Dub Only
01/28/2003
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Bounty Dog
Manga
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Updates, as of late, have been even more scant than even my usual slacking off would permit. I could give you a multitude of excuses in this regard, Final Fantasy XI (which everyone tries to make me play for 6+ hours a day) or even the new PS2 game Nightshade, which was about as atrocious as any DVD could get this side of the Knights of Ramune. This time last year, Spring Break 2003, I think I managed to put a pretty heavy dent in my list of 'rereviews'. Maybe like... 11 or 12 reviews that week? This Spring Break, Bounty Dog will be my very, very first... and it's not like my drinking has taken a surge or anything, I'm just getting more and more lazy. It's like a sort of cancer. A deadly sort of cancer. And, as fate would have it, Evan stopped by and reprogrammed all my remotes into one super remote. Now, this is a good thing because things were getting a little crowded with like the six remotes hanging around, but it means that every time I want to watch a DVD I have to decipher each little button just to stop, or get to the menu. This condition is only aggravated when watching an anime DVD, wherein there's lots of work to be done with switching audio streams and subtitle tracks. Bounty Dog proved useful in this regard, as it gave me the time to train myself in the various machinations of my finicky DVD remote but, in some strange act of kismet, it all really didn't matter. It didn't matter because Bounty Dog DOESN'T HAVE A JAPANESE TRACK. |
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Maybe it's just me, but in this day and age that just reeks of laziness, especially with a title like Bounty Dog. I probably could've licensed for the various bills I keep situated under the carving of "General Kwan" on top of my TV. Those familiar with my financial standings will know: That's not a lot. It's about ten bucks. I'm fully confident that I could license all the North American distributing rights to this 1994 OVA for about five dollars, and that's with a Japanese language track. I mean, come on Manga, it's not bad enough that you're going to foist this show on us... you're going to force us to watch one of your dubs laden with profanity and inappropriate pop culture references while we're at it? Dubs aside, if I could use one word to describe Bounty Dog it would be "yellow". This thing is so yellow that it makes the hit movie Traffic look like a veritable smorgasbord of colors. You'd be hard pressed to find more than two scenes in Bounty Dog that don't appear to have spent the majority of their short, animated lives steeped in a vat of sepiatone. Now, I don't know if sepiatone is stored in vats, or even if that's the proper term... or really what sepiatone is, but if all those factors are true and right then that's where Bounty Dog has spent the majority of its life. Otherwise, I don't know, it looks like Big Bird came out and 'maked' on it. |
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Jesus, I mean Big Bird 'maked' all over it. I'm not a professor of astronomy, so maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not clear what the color yellow has to do with the moon and I don't see a reason why the color is so prolific. Oh, I didn't mention it was on the moon? Well Bounty Dog doesn't give us more than a passing idea of that either. Predictably the main character, Yoshiyuki** seems to belong to a terrorist organization (there's always a terrorist organization). Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. From the one scene we're given on the subject, his job is to ride around in a robot bike called a "Man-slave" and kill people in armor who don't actually appear to be doing much more than standing around on highways. In his quest, Yoshiyuki is aided by various people whose names I can't remember, because either they never told us or they're just not worth remembering. The result is the same, I don't care. The only other standout character(s) is (are) a robot(s) named Yayoi/Inez/Inez #2/Inez #3. These robots alternatively love/hate/attempt to destroy Yoshiyuki at the request of the dark side of the moon, given a humanoid body and bent on the destruction of the light side of the moon. I guess this is somewhat akin to a Miyazaki-esque "Humans are destroying the planet and we don't like them", but Bounty Dog never deigns to elaborate. |
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If anything happens subsequently, I wasn't paying attention. Half the reason I decided to watch Bounty Dog was because it was only an hour long and it couldn't even keep my attention for THAT long. What the hell guys, there's freaking robots. Getting my attention should be like shooting fish in a barrel. But no, no, obviously nobody really cared enough to wrap interesting characters, a storyline, or good dubbing around this sham of a robot show. The probability of me disliking something in space is astronomically low, like the chance of an asteroid launched from another solar system by evil space bugs hitting a city in South America low. Coupled with weird dismembered arms, little girl titties thrown around like day old hotcakes and lines like "I am Legion" that suggests some sort of halfassed biblical connection that never really pans out, there's really nothing here that should appeal to anyone in any circumstance. Bounty Dog inspires in me a sort of rage and loss of social faculties that one would generally only associate with front lobe damage (or lolicon shows). Don't like, watch, or even THINK about this show. You'll find yourself a better person for it. |
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