Blue Submarine No. 6
#3: Hearts
Bandai
30 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
08/01/2000
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Blue Submarine No. 6
Bandai
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Kino : We're still left with that bitter taste in our mouth I love out of context quotes. If a giant whale tells me that me and him could probably get along then thumbs up to that. He could swallow me like a flea and not even care. Or he could blow me up with his undersea super sonic attack. Either way, I'm boned. So screw it, I love all giant whales, especially the ones with super sonic undersea attacks. This goes out to all giant whales out there "Please don't kill/eat me." I'm pretty sure we could make out some sort of deal where they get all the kelp they want and I'll just keep the useless stuff like lobster and crab.** But I've left you fellows out of the loop haven't I? You've been all patient with me and all I've done is shoot a wad in your face and then break your nose without even the thought of returning the favor. One day you'll realize that I don't like any of you and you'll stop coming back like the abused spouses you all are.*** Until that day I'm living high on the hog and if I could check the hits to the site I'm sure that the grand total of six or seven would never cease to amaze me. Who am I kidding? I love every single one of you, even though I don't know who you are and would probably never care to meet you in real life. |
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But about being left out of the loop, sorry about that. Nobody wants to hear about things in the episode they're thinking about watching anyway. Let me clue you in on what you've missed. Hayami tries to go all super heroic the little one man sub that seems to be a reject from Transformers. The scary sharkman and his evil ghost ship puts the ixnay on that and Hayami finds himself floating in the middle of the ocean. Good thing his buddy the fish girl comes along to save him otherwise he'd be sailing with Davey Jones on his next journey. In his locker, if you know what I mean. Davey Jones' locker. Even more luckily fishgirls are apparently able to breath air now, a feat they couldn't accomplish a scant two episodes ago. Fish girl technology is rapidly increasing, soon they'll overwhelm all of us and their scary shark cousins will get tired of ear raping them and come after us. What the hell was I talking about again? Something about fish... fishy fishy fish... oh, right. |
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So the next time a fish girl saves your life, remember to curse her to whatever hell you believe in for depositing you on a giant piece of metal out in the middle of the fucking ocean. Can you imagine the unbearable pain it'd cause to sit on something like that? No, you can't. That'd be the hottest thing anyone in the world has ever experience. Maybe not those fellows at Pompeii, but everyone else would be in for a severe case of hotfoot. I also have to call in question Hayami's magical ability to smoke cigarettes that have been bathing in sea water for what was likely a good few hours. That's the craziest thing I've ever seen. And why is it that anime artists thing cigarettes are somehow able to remain intact no matter what direction you bend them in? The cigarettes -I- know practically fall apart if you touch them the wrong way, and forget about carrying them around in your pants pocket, that's just a recipe for disaster. But anyway, our beloved fish girl Mutio decides to show how much she likes Hayami by bringing him fish caught by her very own mouth. Now, I'm not into interspecies relations, but I'd have to say I'd hold out as long as possible. There's not much better than someone waiting on you hand and foot, genetic incompatibility aside, that's just some good stuff. But be careful Hayami, she might have a nice rack, but who knows what she's holstering downstairs? |
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Good stuff until the evil fishy people and giant jello fish men show up. Just when I thought they couldn't think of anything scarier than a shrieky shark person while orange dreds I'm proved wrong. I'm not even sure what the jello fishies are called, but they look like something a four year old would dream up while under the effects of an acid trip. I don't really even know what they DO. They swim around a lot, and they make scary faces. All I know is that they're not piloting any robot ands, and therefore I just don't care. I do care about giant super sonic whales though. A lot of people might mock me for my beliefs, but when the time comes I'm gonna be sitting pretty on a mound of king crab legs and you're all gonna be food for MacDuff and the rest of his mammalian buddies cruising around the oceans. Maybe if you had approached me earlier than I might have had a change of heart. As things stand you can all go to hell, that's right, all of you.**** |
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***Once again, my views are not necessarily those of fan-service.com as a whole.