The Legend Of Black Heaven
#3: All Right Now
Pioneer
75 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
02/27/2001
|
|
The Legend Of Black Heaven
Pioneer
|
|
 |
Two discs of Black Heaven in a row! The sheer craziness of it
all never ceases to astound! Now, one has to wonder how long hard rock
can possibly save the space. The aliens certainly are, and Hammil steps
forward with her new theory. She states that humans have this thing called
"groove" which is found in live performances but not in recorded ones.
When the mentalities of the artist and the audience become synchronized,
"groove" occurs. How many of you Phish fans just wet your pants? Or anyone
else who listens to those wussy "Let's jam for an hour and a half bands"?
How you can take something that repetitive is beyond me. If you're listening
to repetitive music it better damn well be New Order! Anything else is
uncivilized! Anyway, Hammil also says that with a "band", "groove" will
be much more powerful than if the artist is playing "solo".**
So Oji is now resigned to getting the old Black Heaven back together and
boy is it gonna be a feat! Just like him they're old timers now, they've
got wives and kids and aren't as easily seduced by sexy alien dames. Hell!
They don't even wear their ties on their heads! What kinda pansy ass ex-band
members are they?
|
|
So their newfound vigor is quickly forgotten after one long night of
beer drinking and headtie wearing. Gabriel, Michael, Luke, and Raphael
go back to their day jobs and Oji's left holding the ball all by himself.
So it's back to the old oden stand again for more advice from his friendly
fishmonger! After plying him with enough rice wine to get an two elephants
(or one Dave) drunk, the oden cart man says this:
Fishmonger: What's wrong? You seem empty today.
|
 |
 |
Just like that Oji's problems go away. He's determined to form
a NEW band and immediately sets his bastard son Gen to work in his slave
mine drawing up recruitment posters. The best the poor little retarded
kid could do was a picture of a Power Ranger and the words "Looking for
members with outer space attitude", I guess that's what you get from a
boy with ONE TOOTH.
But getting a new band ain't easy. After passing by a reject from Bubblegum
Crisis J-Pop he puts up his posters. Within days he has three responses!
From a Sci-fi geek, a UFO geek, and an Astrology geek. Don't worry though,
as they're quickly done for. Oji then gets to have another hangout session
with the old group where they quickly go into discussing their only missing
member. One Joseph Watanbe. Seems he left the band to make his way in
America. However he died there, and there are two VERY different explanations
of his death. Both featuring Japanese people speaking hacked up English.
That, and an ASSLOAD of cursing. Proving once again that Americans are
really only useful to be uncouth badguys.
|
|
American voiced by Japanese person: Joseph Watanbe, ah rove you!
One has to wonder though, why would they use such a sissy voice
for such a large, black man.
Oh yeah, and there's a spoof of The X-Files which I found at
least partially amusing.
|
 |
**Personally, I think the writers just got a kick out of being
able to put so many words in quotation marks. But that's just me.