Bubblegum Crisis #2 AnimEigo 131 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 02/02/1999

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You all know exactly how I feel about Bubblegum Crisis. I like it and I hate the fact that I like it. And I hate Priss and the character designs can be uninspired, as some of the characters are pretty faceless, and the hard suits are practically interchangeable (but pretty cool if you've only seen one). But they have robots and motorcycles and cars that drive really fast and that's enough to make me overlook all the bland stuff that I don't like. It's a mediocre thing, but what from the 80's wasn't? I might really hate Priss's voice actor and they really lay the Bladerunner references on thick. But this show is the precursor to my baby and I just can't help but give it its props. At least it's still got a solid musical background. Speaking of which, completely by accident I managed to score an mp3 of Linna's Aerobic Theme from the second episode and I've been playing that practically nonstop, much to the chagrin of my housemates. Going out for a cigarette? It's time to kick it like they did in 1987. Give me a break, I've been looking for that song for around seven years now. Musical highlights on this disc include Akuma to Tenshi no Kisu, which is in my top five Japanese songs of all time, and Mysterious Night, which Jerry should remember because I tell him Nene is the soloist in it -every time it's on-.

That beautiful creature to your right is a Doberman. If that's not one of the coolest robots I've ever seen then I don't know what is. I have no idea what possessed whoever designed that thing that robots need teeth, let alone big freakin' canines, but I'm sure as hell glad they did because without lovable little machines of mass destruction I'd find it a lot harder to deal with Priss's whining, which kicks up a notch or seven in these three episodes. It was unbearable before, I have no idea how to describe it now. Let me just tell you that it makes me want to put my fist through my TV, and that's not easy to do!** Things proceed just about as normal. Priss makes a friend, friend die... she says she'll avenge them. This'd be a lot better if we didn't have wonderbitch going on more crusades than the Roman Catholic Church. And woe to us, the little skank is nigh on indestructible. She gets just about blown up twice in these three episodes and keeps on ticking like the Energizers in your mother's vibrator. They're both things you just plain don't want to see.

Here we see Sylia smoking a cigarette in a dank bar. A high classed chick like her puffing on a Virginia Slim in a dark ghetto pub deep in the realm of my definition of sexy and if that's wrong well, then I guess I'm probably gay. On the right is Fargo, a chronically underused character. I'm totally convinced that he could kill any of those super boomers that the Knight Sabers are having too much trouble against. But as you can see he's probably much too busy rolling up the sleeves on his suit and grabbing Sylia's hair while they make the "beast with two backs". Let me tell you gentlemen and ladies, I think I've found a new hero. Also surprisingly good is the character of Largo (no relation). I'm usually not one for the super powerful godlike badguys who can do whatever they want, but he pulled it off with a certain panache that I just couldn't help but like. He clears away the bad guys faster than you can say "Giddy-up 409" and then goes about taking his rightful place as head of the world. Until Linna wastes him with her super powered laser motorcycle robot suit. Of course, Priss gets all the credit for some reason. In conclusion, Largo? Good guy. You know... for a monomaniacal super villain.

As Joel might say, "Help me lucky left nipple" I must say, I like robots in suits going after lesbian robot vampires and kicking their ass verily. I'm not sure if I was supposed to feel sorry for the sexaroids in episode five or what, but if you're going around killing people so your robot lesbian lover chick can stay alive with their blood... and then you get blown up... then you've gotten what was coming to you. They never actually get around to telling us what a sexaroid does though. It's always something vague like, "Made to aid humans service-wise" or some crap like that. I need something like a bumper sticker on her ass that says "Come and get it big boy." It's a solid disc, if by solid you mean solidly average. At over two hours it's a bit of a bother to watch in one sitting, but I've done worse. There's some good stuff in this disc. Leon busts out the super robot suit and gets shot down for mad loving on like three occasions. Linna finally uses those goofy ribbons on her suit, and they start all the episodes with music, which is pretty much the only reason I'm watching this show anyway.

**Okay yeah it is. I'd do that at the drop of a hat.