Riding Bean

50 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
Released: 03/22/2002
Reviewed: 06/13/2006

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In a magical time we understood as the "1980s" there were lots of cartoons that involved all sorts of crazy things, the crazy things with which any young boy would be enamored. Gun violence, blood, guts, fast cars, fast women, naked women, fast women who were naked, sometimes in cars. There was no shortage of shows and movies of this type imported to America in the early 90s. There's a reason why every Christian mother in the country thinks all anime involves giant demons from hell tentacle raping exploding breasts, because that was pretty much all that showed up over here for quite some time. Ask yourself how many Castle of Cagliostros or Grave of the Fireflies came out over here before the turn of the century. Now ask about how many Akiras or Ghost in the Shells managed to crop up on these shores in the same amount of time.

Riding Bean is one of those shows.

Also during this resplendent period I have described as the 1980s there was a man by the name of Kenichi Sonada. He was eccentric, and probably wholly too obsessed with guns and cars for his own good, but he was an otherwise good guy. If you recognize the big hair and big eyes of anime in the 80s, chances are you're recognizing the work of Mr. Kenichi Sonada.

Riding Bean is the directorial debut of that man, and it shows just how deep his obsessions lie, maniacal to an almost terminal level. Characters mewl emphatically, practicing their eroticisms on whatever sleek car lies in their path. The warble on their cartoon faces is nearly orgasmic as the mention of cylinders and horsepower washes over them like a tsunami of uncomfortable, misplaced affection. The same can be said for guns. Characters talk about their weaponry as if they were flesh and blood human beings, something to be carressed and romanced in the most delicate of fashions. There is rarely an armed character in one of Sonada's works that doesn't feel the need to vocally introduce the make, model, and most minute details of their firearm to anyone in earshot.

Riding Bean is not an exception to the norm. The plot of the show is so simple it almost seems a waste of time to describe it. "Bean Bandit", as he is known, is a getaway driver who takes dangerous jobs for big money. He's the kind of guy that acts all stone-cold but actually has a total soft spot for kids. Also he has a suped up car and a bulletproof leather jacket. Together with his partner Rally Vincent he roams the city of Chicago looking to make it rich and being a generally nice guy, despite a rather sharp temper. Also, he has a propensity for sticking his hand through car doors, something is just all sorts of neat no matter how you would choose to describe it.
As luck would have it, that old cliched pratfall befalls Bean: he takes the wrong job and ends up falsely accused of kidnapping the young daughter of a local millionaire. The cops are ineffectual, as they often are, but the millionaire has more than a few gun-toting guards at his disposal who don't know that Bean is the great, upstanding citizen that he is. Now he's in a race against time for a crime he didn't commit. He has to get the girl back and escape with the millions... or would he just be happier escaping with his life?

I'm sure you can guess where it goes from there, the set-up is like any other feature length Hollywood movie. The difference is that Riding Bean is only 50 minutes and doesn't really have time for fancy things like "character development" or "plot". Instead it fills its time with "exploding heads" and "lesbian dominatrixes". Normally I'm not into that sort of thing, but there's more than enough hot-hot-hot knife throwing and phat car tricks to keep the general populace amused. Would I be happier if it didn't include teenaged girls offering BJs to horrified millionaire businessmen (thankfully, she is rebuked)? Absolutely, but sometimes you just have to take what you can get.
You probably have a friend like Kenichi Sonada, someone who's so wrapped up in their hobbies that they can't think of anything else, ever. They certainly can't let someone slide when they make trivial mistake about said friend's area of expertise. Have you ever made an offhanded comment about anything related to guns in earshot of a self-proclaimed "gun nut"? If you have, then you understand what Riding Bean is about. I can't say for sure that Mr. Sonada is as crazy as some I've known, but if he's got the abilities to make cartoons like this he's definitely not as boring and repetitive.