Appleseed (2004)

105 minutes
Japanese/English
English Subtitles
Released: 05/10/2005
Reviewed: 03/28/2006

It was awhile back that Joel and Jerry and Bare and I tromped up to Bensalem and watched the new Appleseed movie at the Neshaminy mall. I remember not really being that excited. I didn't care for its precursor and had never read the manga. I also remember not being too terribly enthused post-movie, and sort of just bought it on a whim when I was picking up a whole bunch of other DVDs anyway. With stuff like this, even if it's not that great, I figure it's sort of a milestone anyway. How often do you see a cartoon that looks quite like this?

Appleseed certainly is different. I couldn't describe the exact technique used, I'm not an artist, but I imagine there's some complicated stuff involving rotoscoping going on there. If I was a better man I would've dropped the extra $10 or $15 and picked up the ultra-limited edition with the "making off" that reveals all the secrets of the creative process, but I've got some serious ADHD anyway and if I was going to spend that sort of money it would be for the pack-in Briareos action figure. And truth be told I'd probably just use that to molest my "Senor Grumpy" doll like I do with all the other action figures I get... nobody needs that.

In the not too distant future people live in city that's perfect in every way... OR IS IT?! It's not exactly the most original plot, but give the movie some leeway in that its source material is over twenty years old and dystopian drama wasn't exactly the lynch-pin of mainstream entertainment back then that it is now.

So in the future there's this supersoldier chick Deunan Newt. Deunan's going out of her way to kick robot ass in the bombed out remains of the world outside of the aforementioned perfect city. After a particularly brutal battle our soldier chicky finds herself rescued by E-SWAT, the cops that patrol Awesome Town. To make things even more convenient one of the members is Briareos, her ex-partner/lover turned robot (she doesn't know yet! ooooo!) Inside the city Deunan is guided around by Hitomi, a genetically engineered human (a "bioriod") and given an excessively long bit of exposition about why life inside the city is so super-duper awesome and fantastic in every way.

Then the robot laser chicks attack and you remember why you watching this movie in the first place. Kick ass action. It certainly wasn't for the awe inspiring dub script or off-the-hook character designs.

The art style is seriously hinky, I think you can probably notice that just from the pictures, and it's gonna turn a lot of people off. The closest comparison I can draw is that the art design really looks like a tuned up characters from old rotoscoped games like the PS1's Fear Effect. All things considered it's not bad... but I think it's a really odd choice to make. Why this movie? Why any movie? Some characters, like Deunan and Briareos make a pretty respectable appearance. Deunan in her police blues (pictured left) is a sight for sore eyes, and the promotional art they used as the cover for the DVD (top of the page) is what excited me about the movie in the first place. Other characters, like the bioroids Hitomi and Yoshitsune, just aren't up to snuff.

The same can be said for the movie itself. It's a lesson in dichotomy, equal parts awesome and sub-awesome in the same package. Appleseed goes out of its way to bore you with uninteresting speeches about the complicated situation that man has put himself in and how he can never escape it and blah blah blah. This is all stuff that anyone who's even heard of science fiction has seen a dozen times or more. Man's inhumanity to man, man's inhumanity to nature, I get it. Now please start blowing stuff up and stop pretending like you're making world shaking arguments. Focus more on pictures like this and less on "grrr! I gotta bone to pick with you!!" subplots.

Every once in awhile Appleseed sees fit to dump an absolutely stellar fight scene in your lap, something really amazing, something where people are throwing punches and kicks and slicing up rifles with laser wire and riding in giant flying robots and a whole host of other cool stuff. And believe me, this stuff is cool and then some, but it's also there exclusively to distract you from the fact that Appleseed has about as much substance as a peanut shell. It so badly badly wants to be the next smart movie when more of its effort should've been devoted to just letting us watch Deunan and Briareous kick ass. It might sound a little low brow of me, but I want more awesome screen shots of tense moments like this and less time wasted on how bioroids can fall in love TOO. With its "We only have ten seconds to put in the password!!" mentality Appleseed delves into the greatest depths of cliche the world has ever seen, but damn if it isn't good at what it does. If you can slough through the talking, there aren't much better guilty pleasures.