Angel Cop


160 minutes
English Subtitles

Back To A Listings

I don't know directly who the fuck decided that I would be allowed to run a content driven website but that must've been tokin' pretty hard on the wacky tobbacky when they figured that I'd do updates on any kind of reasonable schedule. One review a month! That's the way to draw in the readers! Fuck, we're never getting off the ground.

Have you ever watched a TV show that absolutely sucks just because there was something on the same channel you wanted to watch later and were too lazy to change it? And you don't, even though you know there's a more entertaining show on another channel right now. I just watched an hour of Tom and Jerry. Now, I'm sorry, but that show totally sucks. One of them beats up the other one and the non-beat up one sings some old ass song that I recognize, but I think I only recognize them because of dumbass shows like this. It's like how you watch Scooby Doo today and realize that it was such a worthless piece of crap.

Angel Cop isn't like that. No, not at all. You recognize the fact that Angel Cop sucks within the first five minutes, when you see the shirtless and super cool (read : super homoerotic) Raiden. In the crazy, mixed up world of Angel Cop apparently members of super secret security forces can go around not wearing shirts. I can only assume that the prime minister of Japan in this alternate reality swings a little to one side, because a straight guy sure as hell wouldn't let that shit fly.

Now as you all probably know (from what it says up there) Angel Cop is a Manga release. And as we all know that means quality! Except it doesn't, and Manga sucks. Only I'm not really sure anymore... ever since I saw the panel at Otakon I gotta say that I have mad respect for Keith Burgess, if not the entire company for the simple fact that he knows what he's talking about and his forearms are thicker than my head.** So you've got to understand that right now my opinions of Manga are a bit confused. Much like Andrew's sexuality, which is why I didn't exactly want him sitting near me on the couch while we were watching this, but hey, if you want to make an omelet you've got to break a few skulls. Or whatever that means.

So Angel cop is about naked chest man Raiden, sort of... only it's more about Angel. She's a badass with a foul mouth, but her sailor talk is really just an afterthought added in by the gracious people at Manga. Did you ever notice how I plug like crazy the sites of people who put out the bad discs? It's kinda like negative reinforcement, except there's no way they'd generate any traffic off of it considering 90% of the site's traffic is me checking the forum and another eight or nine of it is Jerry and Skabs doing the same thing.

So, Angel Cop! I'm not really sure. There's this terrorist group called the Red May/Red Mane/Red Maze/Red -something- and they hate Jews. Or so I hear, I was painstakingly scanning the subtitles for any anti-semetic references but it was a total bust. From what I managed to scrounge up from anime' they took it out somewhere. So because I didn't check out the fansubs I have to deal with an Angel Cop where the Jews aren't dumping toxic waste on a small Japanese island. Screw that, I barely want to watch it at all now.

Angel Cop has everything you need to be drenched in suck. There's ultra-violence (Exhibit B. up there) and a dub with a whole bunch of cursing. But what about plot? Like I said, Red M-something. The Special Security force which Angel and Raiden belong to. Along with them is Taki, who looks exactly like a Japanese Columbo, Peace, who's like a walking billboard for the entire first episode, and Hacker. He's obviously been taking lessons from Brock of Pokemon fame because the bitch never opens his damn eyes. Hacker also goes around shooting people while Peace does all the hacking kind of stuff. If that's not a misnomer or something then I have no freakin' clue what is!

Throw into this mix the Hunters, a group of people with mind powers who go around wasting terrorists. They're lead by the crazy-ass Lucifer, who's a girl by the way. I'd like to say she was hot but it's been a month since I've watched the show and I can't remember a damn thing about it. However, -everyone- loves booby traps. This show is like a freakin' booby-trap/tripwire spectacular.

Oh yeah, and it sucks.

**And in case you haven't noticed, I have a big freakin' head.