Amon Saga
Manga
70 minutes
Japanese/English
English Subtitles
05/29/2001
|
|
Amon Saga
Manga
|
|
|
I think Joel's starting to hate me and my anime. A few days ago he complained about how everything he wants to see I've already watched. My response? "I'm sorry for watching the DVDs I buy Joel." Then he replied "Not sorry enough!" and tried to cut my heart out with his teeth. On the flip side of the salami, I still persist in my hatred of Manga. This time it's all about the Macrovision. You might remember Macrovision from trying to copy the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 video you rented from whatever place rents videos in your area. You'd pop in your illegal tape for an evening of fake kung-fu and all of a sudden the picture would start doing crazy things like fading in and out and doing other crazy stuff. Doesn't seem like such a bad way to stop video piracy, right? Well...the unmentioned side affect is that Macrovision can crap up your picture even if you're not trying to copy anything. I remember having to run my DVD player through another device at one point and trying to watch Alien: Resurrection. I almost died that day. So what does Macrovision mean to me now? It means I get a bunch of messed up colors and neon lines on my computer's TV tuner even though I'm NOT chaining two playback units together. What does Macrovision mean to you, loyal reader? It means the one pervert that looks over my screen shots in hopes of finding tentacle rape will be sorely disappointed by the eyeshatteringly crappy stills. |
 |
 |
But what is Amon Saga? I don't know, I hadn't heard anything
about it and I still haven't. If I'm allowed to venture a guess I'd say
that's because it sucks. Its crappy-ness doesn't even provide a semi-enjoyable
watch and you'll spend the whole time either angry that the run time is
only seventy minutes when the packaging says ninety...or you'll rejoice
that you only have to watch this for seventy minutes instead of ninety
minutes. If I'm making it sound bad, that's because it is. It's not Unbearably
Awful, but it does instill a certain apathy in it's viewers about
existence and their very worthiness to be alive. If you want a deep retrospect
on the darkest parts of your soul, look no further than Amon Saga
|
| Amon, the title character, is a young swordsman interested in joining the awesome warriors of Valhis. Valhis is a city on the back of a GIANT TURTLE. Japanese people really like turtles, they've been in way too many animes I've seen. What's with the whole "Turtles carrying things" anyway? I used to put my friend's mice on the back of his turtle while screaming "Flee! Flee!" but the mouse just fell over onto its back into the sawdust and the turtle kinda just stood there. If my experiment means anything** it means you don't put anything on a freaking turtle. I find it kinda weird that I mentioned TMNT 2 earlier on, honestly, I only chose that because it's the first tape I'd ever heard of with Macrovision. So Amon meets up with the incredibly tall and cool looking Gaius, and the whip-wielding thief archetype that I never caught the name of. All three of them manage to become part of the nine finalists in Valhis' feats of strength. Then everything gets boring and convoluted. There's some blue guy that we named Aqua Man. There's a princess that's always in distress. There's a crazy evil sorcerer and an Emperor straight out of Darkside Blues. Then there's the weird combination monsters. Dragon Apes, Cat Owls, Wolf Bears? This show has them all AND refers to them by those names. Soon we had a little game formed of who could make up the most outrageous animal name. What do you think of "Platypus Igauna"? |  |
 |
Giant Monster : Roooooaaaarr! |