Ah! My Goddess:
The Movie
Pioneer
115 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
11/27/2001
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Ah! My Goddess:
Pioneer
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Jerry : It's An hour and forty six minutes! Back in the days of the VHS fansub, that was a an actual conversation between Park Towne Place roommates Jerry "Pat" Garcia and Jon Hugh Skabla. This, my friends, was our first introduction to Ah! My Goddess movie. Now, I've seen the OVA series, but I think it's been like six years and I quite frankly can't remember crap from it. There's two things I definitely DON'T remember though, and that's 1) Weirdass angels coming out of the girl's backs** and 2) GIRLS KISSING. Not that I have anything against it. Quite the contrary, if there's anything better than two girls kissing I don't want to know. Especially AMG girls kissing. I love it. Not only do we have Urd, the goddess of being sultry (if I remember correctly), jamming her tongue down a catatonic Belldandy's mouth, but we've got one Belldandy hugging another Belldandy. You can't PAY for this kinda entertainment. Well, you can. It's approximately $20 online. |
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Of course, those moments were taken ridiculously out of context and really involve absolutely no "girl-on-girl" love. This is AMG. It's like watching Tenchi without any of the drunkenness or sexuality. Still, if you just look at the still pictures there's really no way to tell. So I'll just gaze with fondness at naked Belldandy on Belldandy lovin'. But what's this thing really about? Well, as far as I can tell Spike Spiegel is to be broken out of his giant moon prison by some faerie princess. By Spike Spiegel I mean Belldandy's former mentor Celestin, voiced by the same guy who did Spike Spiegel in Cowboy Bebop, David Lucas. Either way, he's the man. But Celestin's a big jerk. Not only that, but he totally makes out with Belldandy! If there's anything that ruins lesbian fantasies it's a guy kissing the hot chicks. But oh well. Celestin makes Belldandy lose her memory, so she can choose between him and Keiichi, the resident shy loser who somehow gets the girl anyway. |
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My main problem with Celestin is he's a FREAKING PEDOPHILE. This is like ancient Greece without the homosexual activity. Celestin is the teacher of the younger version of Belldandy. He's been plotting for her to fall in love with him ever since she was oh, six. While I'm glad Celestin didn't try to get his dirty disgusting hands on the poor girl while she was singing songs to trees or whatever I'm still creeped the hell out about all this. Majorly. Let's just set something straight okay? Young girl plus old guy should never equal sex. I'm talking about ever. That's just plain nasty. So I've said basically nothing about the movie itself and that's just the way I likes it. We're talking about a return to the old school of DVD reviews here at fan-service. You'll get none of that prissy "plot review" here. Go somewhere else if you want to come out of reading a review with an idea of whether or not you'd actually like to SEE the movie. Let me give you a couple highlights from the old notes : Join the motorclub! The GAY SEX motorclub! : I love drunken motorclub girls : The fact that Keiichi is shorter than Belldandy is hilarious : Belldandy's got that rockin' outfit with the bowtie and shit. : Chihiro? The hot ass girl - I wanna pound that round. |
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So now you've had another glimpse into the mind of Dave and how the whole review process works. I do indeed want to pound Chihiro's round. Preferably on a daily basis. But that's not what Ah! My Goddess : The Movie is all about. It's about love conquers all and all that stuff. That all you need is faith in the one you love to get by. That everything will work out in the end and you'll all be happy and warm and fuzzy. And then maybe the three-way action'll start only Keiichi will get kicked out and it'll only be Belldandy and Urd in a sloppy goddess love fest. Er, what I meant to say was...it's a good movie if you like sentiment and stuff like that. I'm pretty sure it got to me, but I'll just write it off as something in my eye. Or the fact that I was watching it at four in the morning and I was really tired. The animation is absolutely stunning and it's the first movie that I've seen in awhile that remains true to the storyline of the series and doesn't go around turning GIRLS INTO CARS. I like AMG, Belldandy and Urd are lookers. Mostly Urd, because she's sultry. Skuld though, she's like four years old...it's really nasty when people have fantasies about her. I guess they might just be taking a hint from good old Celestin. Eh? |
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**Now, I've heard they're in the manga. But that'd just be
too much reading and research for me.
