Agent Aika #2:
Final Battle

CPM

75 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
Released: 05/08/2001
Reviewed: 07/19/2005

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I can sum up the plot of the last three episodes of Agent Aika in once sentence, and do it very nicely:

"Hello, I'm plot... they gave me the week off."


In no way am I saying that the first four episodes of Agent Aika were the paramount of cinema, nothing could be further from the truth, but the second DVD of this show goes above and beyond the limits of what a show like this can contain (and not contain) without being outright porn. There isn't a single thing that goes on in this series of three episodes that isn't a (not so) veiled attempt at getting Aika in a compromising position, yet there's no actual release save the vitriolic panty shots that make up Aika's bread and butter.

Now that they've defeated the evil Hargen and his freaky incestuous sister, the crew of salvagers decide to go on an island vacation! The prospect seems to excite them a little more than you'd expect considering, last time I checked, the whole freaking world was covered in water. The writers don't concern themselves with this and I guess you shouldn't either. I think they've forgotten about that rather oblique plot point. Don't fret, dear reader, It'll be easy enough to block it out of your mind too. You should have no trouble getting distracted while the cross dressing Michigusa is traipsing about the screen. Since your face will be so busy finding new ways to contort in horror you really just won't have time to bring up specious plot holes. This character, present only in the last three episodes, exists for no reason other than to put on girl's clothing.


The Delmos, who are Hargen's ex-army of psycho bitches wearing uncomfortable vinyl dresses, decide that they're going to get back at Aika in any way they can for the untimely death of their effeminate boss (and his wacko sister). Their first revenge, inexplicably, involves tricking Aika into making out with a girl dressed as a man. Once that's accomplished, the two girls kissing part, they move on to the part where they drive tiny tanks through the hotel to blow her up. I'm not convinced of any benefits that comes from such a Rube Goldberg-ian plan, but I'm also not a member of the Delmos crew. That's probably just what they do.

When that fails the Delmos kick it into high gear by having a twelve year old girl drug Aika and manually violate her female bits while she's passed out. As if that weren't enough they also take pictures. And if that weren't enough, they decide that they're going to blow her up with rockets directly afterwards!


All I can garner from this show is that the addition of violence to sex is somehow considered wholesome. Most of the panty shots in this show are a direct result of a girl getting punched in the solar plexus or kicked in the neck. While watching, my stoic roommate Skabs postulated that the reason Japanese girls get molested on the subway is because of shows like this. He went off on some tangent about how there's all these panty shots, but no release and it makes people all tense and they just burst out. That's just retarded, because it's not like there's a lack of porn in Japan or anything. I will say that the way Aika legitimates the combination of sex and violence is enough to make the average viewer a little uncomfortable.

Look at the sumptuous picture to your right and tell me a bad show should've spawned it. It's a stone cold shame that Aika is as bad as it is. Something like this it has more than its fair share of fetching character designs, save for Michigusa and the Delmos. It has bits of fight choreography that's just spot on and on the rare occasion that the humor doesn't fall completely flat -- we're talking about a singular scene containing a karaoke beatdown -- it's genuinely hilarious. The ending theme, a funky number by the name of Dance With Me Tonight, is better even than the ending theme that would follow. Too bad the rest of the show vacillates between boring and offensive. Otherwise we'd might just have something here.