Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 #4: Buried Secrets ADV 100 minutes English/Japanese English Subtitles 02/13/2001

 

Bad guy is in hell Knight Sabers are helpless Cherry blossoms dance I was gonna do this review as a series of Haiku, but then I realized that not only am I not entirely sure what a Haiku is. I don't know how many syllables are in most words and sounding them out doesn't help. Really, the only thing I'm sure of is you're supposed to insert something about cherry blossoms in there somewhere and I think I did that pretty well. So, no haikus for the beloved readers of fan-service.com. I know I kind of put your hopes up by starting things off the way I did. I guess that's just one more thing that I gotta atone for. I hope my desperate pleas are enough to garner your forgiveness.

 

Sweet holy god I like this dub. Anything that implies a sexual relationship between two main GIRL characters that everyone was thinking about was okay with me. Also, we've got Hillary Haag as Nene, I feel like such a loser for enjoying the work of someone whom half of anime fan-dorks drool over anyway, but her voice is so easy to listen to that I'd be hard pressed to deny even the most direct and dangerous of orders that sprung from her her mouth. That's a dangerous gun she's packing there, and I just hope that she never has the time or inclination to actually use it.   Now onto the spoilers. We're way too far into the series and I just blew the last two things I could think of in the past two paragraphs. So, Sylia's got a mission for the group, take portable EMP cannons into the sewers and start checking points for reactions. She wants to find the buried "Wiz Lab" that the ultra evil, smooth and robosexual Brian J. Mason has been digging for all this time. However, she warns the Knight Sabers just to find it, as there's something dangerous down there. A "seal of evil" is constantly being referred to like some sort of mystical gate designed to keep the bad things out of our world. Her plan? Nuke the hell out of it with radiation so she doesn't even have to break the cocoon keeping whatever it is inside.

I'm not sure if you realize this, but that's probably the coolest plan since a little plan involving a little red wagon and a length of rope. That plan was basketeering. Now, obviously Sylia can't aspire to that level. But I think her raising her robotic suit's fist like a little Leon McNichol protégé and going "Guinea Pig!" before running down into a tunnel and shooting the living SHIT out of a giant blob with freaking LASERS is still pretty cool. It probably could've been improved if she ring-a-ding ditched someone on the way, but I guess it can't be helped and not everything can involve laundry baskets and orange extension cords being hauled behind moving vehicles. Anyway, somewhere in there is where the techno music plays. Brings me to my final point. The music in 2040 is pretty much worthless. It's really weird because during the show the cues are perfect. Listening to Sylia go "Guinea Pig!" in her scornful psycho woman voice immediately followed by thumping beats fits quite nice. I DARE you to listen to the whole background music CD at one time, I double dare you. You'll rip one, if not BOTH eardrums out while you scream things like "Why can't I stop crying?!" I own it, I know what I'm talking about. While synthesized robotic voices sound awesome as the woman is walking across a bridge in Chinatown, try listening to it on your stereo for three and a half minutes and not vomiting until you DIE. Listen, I'm all for good techno but this is not it, this is good for background music. It's not good background music like Tylor or Macross Plus, which is pleasing to the ear whether it's surrounded anime or not, it's just weird noncommittal crap.

 

I gotta admit, though, the whole thing about putting the climax in the middle of the series takes total balls. To do it this way is basically saying that you can put this totally monumental event here and still keep momentum going for the eleven episodes this show has left in it. It's a pretty gutsy move and... well... it just makes me think volumes more of this show that it's actually pulled off with more than the average amount of panache. I guess it's a nice thing when you don't feel bad about liking an anime. What, is that just me? No finger up ass? What could possibly beat it now? Bubblegum Crisis DVD