2040 #2

Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 #2: Crusade

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100 minutes
English/Japanese
English Subtitles
12/05/2000

I like to think that once in awhile my screenshots follow a certain theme, and certainly this time I've got it worked out all kinds of perfect. We've got robots and hot chicks, which is exactly what Bubblegum Crisis 2040 is about. All we need is to throw in a bit of hard rocking and we're good. Oh wait, look at the last screen shot, we got a two for one there!
My adoration for women in weird red leather suits aside, more Bubblegum Crisis 2040 will find no complaints from me. These four episodes are jam packed with enough robot dinosaurs, crazy punk-types rocking out and references to the old show to last a million lifetimes. When they're not busy packing such stuff in, there's weird familial relationships between Sylia and her recently returned "little brother" (if anyone didn't catch he was a robot in the first ten seconds then they're probably blind, deaf and retarded). Mackie, voiced by Spike Spencer, is a throwaway character whose main purpose up to this point is to annoy Sylia and accidentally stumble into dressing rooms where half-nude Knight Sabers await to be peeped upon. This makes Spike Spencer perfect for the role, because all that guy does is go "Ack! BLEAEAGH!" I swear to god he must make a commission on how many choked screeches he emits per session.

Sylia, however, I'm beginning to think that her job is to go all apeshit and break a bunch of continently placed glass whenever certain buzzwords are mentioned. Sylia's temperature is so volatile that even I, a confirmed Irishman, have been known to get a little uncomfortable while watching her rant and rave and knock pill bottles over and threaten her little bro with physical harm because he may've inadvertently suggested that the guy that she's harboring super-secret-OMGDON'TTELL feelings for might like someone else. I mean, I can get a little grumpy with a few beers in me but this chick is genuine certifiable. Lock her UP.
I guess if I was a woman who wanted to beat up robots for pleasure and payment then I could probably handle a boss with a tenuous grip on reality, a megalomaniac obsession, and a severe case of bipolar disorder. I mean, sure those are all pretty dangerous, life threatening things but if get to beat the hell of out insane metal constructs (and get paid to do it!) then there's a lot that I can deal with sweeping under the rug. Hell, I've hung around crazy people before and none of them ever decided to furnish me with badass suits of armor that have swords and jet boosters and flashy lights. I did it for free.

"Boomer of the week" is the formula. Sometimes they're dinosaurs, sometimes they run around like cute little Mongoloid babies, sometimes they just want to take over all the machines in a factory and have a little fun. Basically, our bases are pretty much covered. The end result is generally the same. Girls in armor come out, do some fancy footwork, something blows up. The AD Police gets all incensed and Leon holds up his fist and goes all like "Grrr! I hate those Knight Sabers!" (you need to imagine me doing this as I type for the full effect) after this, Daily replies with some quippy comment that suggests he swings in a different playground than the rest of us. Something like "Keep trying, big boy" or "God what I wouldn't do for an injection of hot man sauce right now". You get the idea, right?

You know, the major difference between boomers from this and from the original (besides causing nightmares in children ages 7-19) is that they're ridiculously harder to kill. The original Knight Sabers would go through eight or ten robots an episode, no problem. Now they have trouble taking down one. To be fair the original BGC boomers weren't throwing freakin' pipes at everyone and shouting things like "It's break time, everybody take a break." The boomers in the original series were there to get killed and make Priss look like a hero for no reason at all. BGC 2040 boomers are there to make you cry in fear and buy new undergarments.

They decide to get a bit tricky and sneak a boomer in at the end of episode eight, but I was wise to their foxy ruse. They thought they could make me think it was one of those plot development episodes, when in reality it's one of those "introduce the badass Motoslave and have someone (Priss) bust a boomer upside the head" episodes. I think you know which one I prefer. While I am a bit trepedatious about Priss getting more and more screen time, if they keep putting her in things like the leather (or possibly pleather) suit pictured right, I'm gonna be hard pressed to find complaint with it.
Going back to the old school for the only time in the entire series we've got some action during a badass song played by Priss and her group. I can't tell you how much I miss the days of boomers getting their asses handed to them while Konya wa Harriken played. That's really the only thing this show doesn't have over the original. This time it's just a car chase fueled by Leon's desire to pound that round. Priss's round, that is. While I admit I find my jealousy towards him building every time he's on screen. They make it so painfully obvious that they're going to fall in love that I ripped my own eyeballs out the second time I watched it and I could still tell it was gonna happen. Now I'm blind.
But it's all good. Leon's a better man than I'll ever be and that's sad, because he's a cartoon.