Index
Self proclaimed master of Feng Shui and Sting impersonator extraordinaire, Dave has been described as 'Hating everyone, but tolerating a specific few.' He's more than just the webmaster. He's the reason this damn site took half a year to get up, the reason why it's rarely updated, and the one who does all the work. Despite this he doesn't have a swelled head or anything. His lifelong dream is to form his J-Pop cover band, Happy Punch.
Likes: Robots (both normal and giant fighting varieties). Short haired punk bitches. Exposition. Gamera. Cars that drive really really fast. Confucianism. Music over action. Crazy women.
Dislikes: Shitty comedy. Crazy women. Ghidorah. Anime Fandom.
Gaming Preferences: Survival Horror, Shooters.
Job: ...
Claim to Fame: Co-creator of basketeering.
In 1994, Andrew was the one to accompany Dave on his rental of the 'cool thing he had seen on TV'. Akira. Eight years later he's moved away to Geneva University and obviously, doesn't watch much anime anymore. Not that WE know of anyway. Before his departure he was Dave's leading 'reality expert'. He's been known to break into aneurismal rages at the mere sight of 80 foot mecha with giant turkey carvers. His knowledge of computers is so unbound that the only people that can possibly understand him are JL and Dave. And Dave just pretends.
Likes: Coca-Cola. His sister.
Dislikes: The word "Plethora" and all uses thereof
Gaming Preferences: Computer RPGs, Strategy, and FPSes.
Job: Reality Expert. Giving Dave new computers when he breaks the old ones.
Claim to Fame: Super powers include the ability to scream like a twelve year old girl at the appearance of haunted bathtubs in videogames.
More commonly known as 'The Joel' on account of his size, Joel is the leading man in the fields of Samurai experts. Often seen with his arm in his sleeve and a jug of sake at his hip, "death before dishonor" is his creed. Brought into the folds through a conversation of tennis, Resident Evil, and the band Styx, Joel's is a bond that will never be broken. He's strong, reliable, and more than willing to say that any anime sucks at the drop of the hat. One thing, don't mess with his Soul Calibur.
Likes: Good anime (anything resembling Love Hina not included in good.). Exploding samurais. Basically anything involving the Kung Fu.
Dislikes: Love Hina, Hentai, Most cheese dishes and figure inappropriate cosplaying.
Gaming Preferences: Fighting games, SNK in general,most RPGs. Everything else that doesn't suck.
Job: Samurai Expert. Wallpapers. Kicking Dave's ass in King of Fighters.
Claim to Fame: Nothing really, except if you count eating babies.
JL isn't so much an anime fan, as a Kenshin fan. He's quick to pop in anything related to the wandering warrior, be it OVA, Movie, or TV Series. His love for the Rurouni Kenshin OVAs is unmatched by anyone else on his planet, but heed his wrath as he goes into a diatribe about the horrors of the Meiji gang's first train ride. It's been theorized that the chess master par excellence can give you quotes of the action simply by being provided the exact minute and second of a Kenshin episode. He and Greg are locked in a constant power struggle to decide who is the more reckless driver.
Likes: Playing chess, macking on the fly bitches
Dislikes : Women of the "beat" variety.
Gaming Preferences : Deus Ex. It's hard to believe, but that's the only game he's been playing for the past five years.
Job : Master Chef and resident fan-service.com GQ man. He's both stylin' AND profilin'.
Claim to Fame : The only Chinese Jew ever conceived by mortal man.
Greg doesn't really WATCH anime. He just has the mysterious ability to arrive midway through a movie or episode. Thusly providing a good sounding board for Dave's anime related jokes and saving him from watching three hours of bad anime in one stretch by asking him if he wants to 'hit the Raiden after this episode is done'. Greg's more than a true friend, he's a protector of virtue. Over Christmas break '01 he tried to one up JL's driving by parking in the middle of the breakneck Benjamin Franklin Parkway while awaiting Jerry's arrival. The judges are still out on the results.
Rikes : He rikey egg-lorr and flied lice. Giving all the power-ups to Dave
Disrikes: People who don't know whether the bombat is lighting the cigarette or vice versa. Westinghouse and Fisk.
Gaming Plefelences: Shooters. Anything before the advent of VGA monitors
Job: China-man.
Craim to Fame: Co-creator of basketeering and the "flaming bombat"
Jerry 'Pat' Garcia was born in the Philippines, or so one would assume by the way he keeps going back there. Known for his enjoyment of Love Hina and bootlegged Dreamcast games, the Filipino Pirate is currently somewhere in Center City. The lawyers of Sega have so far be unsuccessful in their attempts to locate him to beg for his retirement for the piracy trade. Word on the streets says they plan to bribe him with stock options.
Likes: The walk of ages, frozen dairy treats, buying stuff, kung fu fighting, and chopping stuff with the Miracle Blades.
Dislikes: SYSTEMS homework.
Gaming Preferences: Fighting games, Armored Core, Ace Combat, shooters made by Treasure.
Job: Top wallpaper man and Master Chef. Keeper of the "Miracle Blades".
Claim to Fame: Emigrated from the Philippines to escape their ice cream tyranny
Jonnie Skabs isn't really Jerry's partner in crime, he's just in the unfortunate circumstances of living with him. Thought to be descended from the ancient African tribal wise man, Skabla knows that all stories start with the beginning of time. The yarns he spins are wonderful adventures, if you have the two or three hours to spend on it. His middle initial stands for 'digression'. He's also quite the accomplished artist those in love with this website's mascot needs only to be grateful to him.
Likes: Watching Old b-movie horror flicks and shitty movies that no one else in their right mind would watch. Battling with Bizzaro Skabs
Dislikes: Religion, Ritz Camera and all its taskmasters, Turn Based Strategy games, and anything related to Digi Carrots. Anything that actually pertains to real work.
Gaming Preferences: Survival horror, RPG's, Platforms and FPSes and shitty games that nobody in their right mind would like.
Job: Head (and only) artist and photographer, among other things.
Claim to Fame: He once took less than three months to finish a single drawling
Spoken of in some circles as "Theodore Bear", he's is the newest member of the official staff and possibly the only reason he's here is because he tends to whine until he gets what he wants. But don't let that fool you because this lover of BBWs has a heart of gold and the shirts to match, he's a reasonable cook and Dave's current roommate. Originally from New Jersey, he's amazed every day by the newfangled city contraptions of Philadelphia. You know, things like street lights and "horseless buggies".
Likes: Big Black Women, American Cartoons
Dislikes: Our current cereal bowls, the Catholic church. One way streets
Gaming Preferences: Racing games, RPGS. Basically everything Dave won't play
Job: Columnist and resident fan-service.com barber
Claim to Fame: To this day nobody knows the true spelling of his last name
Known in other parts as "Ninja Cowboy", Sashimi Gold is a mystery wrapped in an anachronism. No man has ever seen his face and lived to tell about it. They are soon cut down by his deadly blade or sharpshooter aim. None know his true identity or where he comes from. Like favored Japanese treat, he is ensconced in secrecy.
Likes: Stealth. Speaking in haiku. Recycling.
Dislikes: People who disrespect Andre the Giant.
Gaming Preferences: Shinobi, Ninja Gaiden...you get the idea.
Job: Special guest reviewer.
Claim to Fame: Pioneered the Shotty y Dagga technique.