My heart is no stranger to the love of sensation, which I find a deliciously absurd thing to type on the internet. And there is no sensation more palatable or ambrosial to my fickle tastes than that of the Latin big band. Why, just last week I spent no less than five minutes dancing at a wedding reception to the flavor that is El Matador, sung by the indomitable Argentineans known as Los Fabulosos Cadillacs.

While the incriminating film of my homoerotic maneuvers with the groom, my good friend Benjamin White, will probably never be released, you can live the pervasion of sensation with me over and over simply by listening to the two minutes and forty five seconds of pure salsa emotion that Xtormrage has cooked up.

The Metal Gear Solid 2 theme is one that has been cooked and recooked in the ovens of musical arrangement more times than I could count. We've had crazy, delicious euro-beat mixes and weird Devil May Cry amalgams, but in recent memory there is no song such as a song like this.

What starts out with an easy-breezy piano number soon mutates into a colossal behemoth of soul. By the time thirty seconds have passed the piano kicks it into high gear. But more than that, the horns! Horns, as we all well know, are the ultimate staple of rhythm. When those trumpet hits start coming hard and fast I am legitimately powerless to resist. By the time the saxophone weaves its easy melody I find myself melting into nothing more useless than a simpering pile of gelatin.

The song sounds more hollow than I'd care it too, but even that has its purpose. When combined with the mournful sound of the saxophone, it makes me think of long siestas under moonlit nights. The kind where you wait and wait, but your caramel skinned sweetheart never returns. She and her plush Latina booty have moved on to other things. This is probably a good thing to think of, because I'd rather mull over lost loves than the trite story line Hideo Kojima force-fed us three years ago.

Though you cry, you are happy. The pained warbled of the saxophone will assuage your grief. You are alone, but it is better this way. Now your heart is free to be a slave to only one master... the rhythm. It may not have the political overtones and references to Victor Gar that Matador does, but it's still a pretty good way to waste three minutes.

But Could I Drive To This?: As is known to one and all, the traditional Latin 'ride' is a burro, or donkey to those not fluent in "espanol". Think of your troubled journeys over the countryside, saving senoritas, eating burritos. But, alas, the donkey does not come with a built-in stereo. Thus your other option is the second most popular mode of Latin transportation: A tricked-out El Camino. With risers. And felt dice.

That would be freakin' sweet.