A masterpiece suggested by my good friend G.
Turner (née peccaui). Turkey + Bacon = artery stop!
We went to three stores to find this stupid stuff,
I burnt it and nobody ate it. Hooray Swiss Chard!
Extraneous Thanksgiving has never been a particularly
easy affair and this year was no different. My plan was well thought
out, at first, we shopped early and even managed to secure ourselves
a free turkey via Joel's Shoprite card. Joel was surprisingly amicable
to the idea of us ruining the kitchen of the place he's house-sitting.
I had to ask! It's so much bigger! However, through the complications
and workarounds of this modern world, Jerry and Skabla were not
in attendance. Alan disappeared because I told him, like a retard,
we'd be breaking tradition and doing it on Saturday. Here, I break
tradition too by taking less than the minimum six months to post
an Extraneous Thanksgiving journal. On the plus side, Andrew lost
his wallet and rooted through a bag of trash. Awesome!
I'll take this moment to give a bit of an aside.
I love the holiday of Thanksgiving, it's my favorite of all time.
Over this past four years I've found it entirely heartening that
I've been able to spend every post-Thanksgiving Friday with my good
friends, cooking up a meal that might serve to make even Joel's
mom envious. That's a tricky feat! Not only is the woman an excellent
cook, she's like seven feet tall!
Though I fear that we might drift apart at some
point, I will cherish these memories always in my heart of hearts.
There's something special about the Master Chef experience and Extraneous
Thanksgiving really coheses that into a tangible whole. Wouldn't
trade it for the world, guys.
But maybe for a case of beer, I'd trade a few of
them away... and no, I'm not going to kiss any of you. That's just
I have a hard time believing anyone can celebrate
Thanksgiving without at least two types of pork on the menu.
The sausage was then transferred to make this badass stuffing.
While this form looks harmless, it quickly metastasized into a
ninety foot tall robot with laser eyes.