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Since I don't feel like listing ingredients I'm going to go over
the "joke" behind this picture instead. You'll notice
it is very small. This is because I'm making one of my dumbass picture
faces and the smaller the picture is, the better. You guys don't
wanna see that. No way. Anyway, look at the plates. The largest
is Evan and it gradually descends. This is an allusion to penis
size as it relates to plate size. It is not very funny, but it's
basically the only picture I have of the complete meal. Wonderful.
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Joke's on you Evan, yams
aren't supposed to glow!
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All things considered, we could've
done a better job on the whole cooking thing this year:
Turkey: Remember to actually COOK the turkey
Yams: Should yams be neon colors?
Stuffing: Last year's recipe! Lazy!
Mashed Potatoes: We discovered that I, being Irish,
can do at least one thing right
Green Bean Casserole: Hey moron, less mushroom soup!
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Jerry unleashes his Pinyo-rage.
Cubed pineapple?! CUBED pineapple!?
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This picture proves that
the floor is a perfectly feasible spot for both cooked turkey
AND X-box controllers.
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I figure I've got to at least tell you how to
do one thing, so I'll give you a recipe for some really solid
cranberry sauce that's actually supposed to be used as a topping
for pork chops. You'll have no pork chops though, as this is not
extraneous "pork chop eating day", it's extraneous Thanksgiving!
Put it on your stuffing, or your turkey, fool!
It's really quite simple. Take a sauce pan and
put a cup or two of water in it, along with maybe four or five
teaspoons of sugar. More if it's to your taste, I don't know what
you crazy sweet tooths out there like. Stir it up until the sugar's
dissolved. Now supply yourself with that nice pound of fresh cranberries
and dump them all in. Simmer five minutes or so, they'll pop.
Remove, drop in a blender and blend it up. Puree on five seconds
will give you satisfying results, as long as you keep the top
on the blender so as to reduce the dangers of spillation. Sprinkle
with delicious salt and pepper. Don't crap everything else up
while you're at it and you'll have a great extraneous Thanksgiving,
much unlike the fan-service.com crew!
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Micro-Greg seems to disagree
though.
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Here's a hint. Your green
bean casserole shouldn't look like "the stuff" from
the movie The Stuff.
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Cranberries or my splattered
brains, the message is clear: Don't mess around with pineapple
when a Pinyo is involved.
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| You might laugh, but Jerry and I have cried
while chopping onions. Cried. |
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