Index / Cooking
Week Three: Thanksgiving in May

One 8-12 pound turkey.

5 lbs of potatoes.
4 tbps butter.
Salt, pepper, and milk as desired.

Just buy a damn box of the stuff.

See above.

As I demonstrate, there's nothing like having your hand up a turkey's ass.


Cooking a turkey is actually easier than one might think. Take your bird and cover it thoroughly in oil, salt, pepper. Whatever you desire. Just make sure the skin keeps a moist quality. Remember to remove the giblets, we're not gonna be doing anything with them. Unless you want to throw them in an Asian's face. The turkey take abot three hours to cook. The oven needs to be at about 325 degrees F.

Every half an hour check the turkey. Tilt the pan towards you a bit so the juices collect at the bottom and gently cover the turkey in its own juices. This will keep the skin moist while cooking. That's about all you have to do.


"Hey Jerry! I've got something for you!"
"What? OH GOD MY EYE!"

Remember, a wet turkey is a good tukey.

When the turkey has about an hour left you can get to work on everything else. For the turkey and stuffing just follow the directions on the package. Normally the Master Chefs wouldn't condone using prepacked products, but we were under time constraints with the turkey and did what we had to. Find your recipes somewhere else you ingrates!

Reuinited at last, the Master Chefs get to work.

Jerry practices the secret and ancient knife skills of the Phillipines to bring us the gift of turkey.

As for the potatoes, skin them all and then boil them in whatever pots you can find. A six quart pot will hold them all no problem. If you don't have that then make do. The potatoes need to boil for about 40 minutes or so to get soft. Make sure they're completely covered by the water or they'll soften up unevenly.

Once they're soft just mash them up, add the butter and mix it all together. Then go to town with salt, pepper, and milk as desired. Be careful, as too much milk can ruin the potatoes.

In a heated battle over what gravy to make, JL and Andrew war over which has better ingredients.
"Hydrolized soy protein!"

Good Turkey? Damn straight.

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