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TURKEY : |
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 As I demonstrate, there's nothing like having your hand up a turkey's ass. |
Cooking a turkey is actually easier than one might think. Take your bird and cover it thoroughly in oil, salt, pepper. Whatever you desire. Just make sure the skin keeps a moist quality. Remember to remove the giblets, we're not gonna be doing anything with them. Unless you want to throw them in an Asian's face. The turkey take abot three hours to cook. The oven needs to be at about 325 degrees F. Every half an hour check the turkey. Tilt the pan towards you a bit so the juices collect at the bottom and gently cover the turkey in its own juices. This will keep the skin moist while cooking. That's about all you have to do.
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 Remember, a wet turkey is a good tukey. |
When the turkey has about an hour left you can get to work on everything else. For the turkey and stuffing just follow the directions on the package. Normally the Master Chefs wouldn't condone using prepacked products, but we were under time constraints with the turkey and did what we had to. Find your recipes somewhere else you ingrates! |
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 Jerry practices the secret and ancient knife skills of the Phillipines to bring us the gift of turkey. |
Once they're soft just mash them up, add the butter and mix it all together. Then go to town with salt, pepper, and milk as desired. Be careful, as too much milk can ruin the potatoes. |
In a heated battle over what gravy
to make, JL and Andrew war over which has better ingredients. |
Good Turkey? Damn straight.