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TURKEY :
One 8-12 pound turkey.
POTATOES :
5 lbs of potatoes.
4 tbps butter.
Salt, pepper, and milk as desired.
STUFFING :
Just buy a damn box of the stuff.
GRAVY :
See above.
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As I demonstrate, there's nothing like having your
hand up a turkey's ass.
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Cooking a turkey is actually easier
than one might think. Take your bird and cover it thoroughly in
oil, salt, pepper. Whatever you desire. Just make sure the skin
keeps a moist quality. Remember to remove the giblets, we're not
gonna be doing anything with them. Unless you want to throw them
in an Asian's face. The turkey take abot three hours to cook. The
oven needs to be at about 325 degrees F.
Every half an hour check the turkey.
Tilt the pan towards you a bit so the juices collect at the bottom
and gently cover the turkey in its own juices. This will keep the
skin moist while cooking. That's about all you have to do.
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"Hey Jerry! I've got something for you!"
"What? OH GOD MY EYE!"
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Remember, a wet turkey is a good tukey.
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When the turkey has about an hour
left you can get to work on everything else. For the turkey and
stuffing just follow the directions on the package. Normally the
Master Chefs wouldn't condone using prepacked products, but we were
under time constraints with the turkey and did what we had to. Find
your recipes somewhere else you ingrates!
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Reuinited at last, the Master Chefs get to work.
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Jerry practices the secret and ancient knife skills
of the Phillipines to bring us the gift of turkey.
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As for the potatoes, skin them all and then boil
them in whatever pots you can find. A six quart pot will hold
them all no problem. If you don't have that then make do. The
potatoes need to boil for about 40 minutes or so to get soft.
Make sure they're completely covered by the water or they'll soften
up unevenly.
Once they're soft just mash them up, add the butter
and mix it all together. Then go to town with salt, pepper, and
milk as desired. Be careful, as too much milk can ruin the potatoes.
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In a heated battle over what gravy
to make, JL and Andrew war over which has better ingredients.
"Hydrolized soy protein!"
"Tomato!"
"Aaarrrgh!"
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Good Turkey? Damn straight.
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