When you don't need to boil the pasta, it's easier to make lasagna than it is to sodomize Andrew's wife!

With all your ingredients gathered, preheat the oven to delectable 375° and commit the largest man you know to whipping together the ricotta cheese and the eggs. In our case it was Joel, who was so large that he didn't know his own strength and ended up making a mess of my kitchen. So I guess my suggestion to you is you use someone slightly smaller than the biggest man you know.

While Joel destroys your (already broken) microwave, feel free to pour a quarter of a bottle of sauce into the bottom of your 13 x 9 pan, then layer four strips of lasagna overtop of this. By now your kitchen is probably covered in the ricotta cheese mixture, so you can slather some of that on with your next layer of sauce and spinach. Make sure that you get a good amount of sauce on the side of the pan, so the lasagna doesn't stick.

This gives Joel plenty of time to shred mozzarella cheese all over your floor. Take about half of the pieces that didn't fall all over the dirty kitchen tile and layer them with that ricotta and sauce. Four more slabs of lasagna, and your next layer entails the rest of the ricotta, sauce and spinach but no mozzarella. The final four slabs go on top of this along with the rest of the sauce, spinach and the remainder of your mozzarella.

Joel is probably attempting to crush your head now, because you're such a jerk. Try to stick the lasagna in the oven while ignoring the warm feeling of painful sleep that's coming over you. If you're still alive in 50-60 minutes, you should be good to go!