Index / Cooking
EXTREME!! Cocoa: Part Deuce

1/2 gallon of chocolate ice cream
1/2 gallon of milk
1 pound sugar
1 pound cocoa powder

Or if you're the animals that we are, double all that.

Recipe courtesy of

If you want to be "legit" about it and not use our crappy paraphrased recipe, here's the real one.

We had about half the sugar we needed in this bag. So we just poured more in until it LOOKED like it doubled. If this was Die Hard 3 we would've died.

Master brand Cocoa. Master chef tested, Master Chef approved.

Ice Cream Team :

Let the ice cream get a bit soggy, cut it up, put it in your big bucket and mix it with 1/3 of the milk.

Cocoa Team :

Start boiling up a good amount of water. Put a quarter of the cocoa in your heatproof jug. Add some water, stir, keep adding cocoa, water, and sugar while stirring. Eventually it's gonna be all thick and possibly lumpy. That's when you make me test it, unless I somehow get away and Skabs has to do it. Sucker.

Now all you have to do is take it nice and slow add the cocoa to the ice cream, stirring all the while. After that add the rest of the milk and you're good to go.

Ice cream team's job consisted of mixing milk and ice cream. They fucked it up.

This cocoa mixture seemed like it might be a strange portent of my bowel movements the next day.

The moment of truth.

And fucking A, I once again remember why we haven't made this stuff sooner. Because it's PAINFUL. Thus, I declared the recipe for extreme cocoa officially closed until next summer.

As a final note, I won the milk shots competition again this year (How could I not? I was the favorite) with an impressive doubling of Sambo's four glasses. Considering how I felt after drinking eight mugs of the stuff I'm starting to think we didn't get up to seventeen or eighteen glasses last year. Though, Andrew insists this year's batch was much more potent. Next year we might actually get it right!

I was supposed to test it, then I remembered what happened LAST year.

So we got Skabs to do it.

Ahoy there mateys! Cocoa ahead!

Sambo's obviously distracted by the prospect of going
home and beating his wife.

This is Andore, he's not here anymore.

Yuck it up Sambo. You'll get yours.

Nooo! No more cocoa!
And he then turned and came down from the mountain with two containers in his hands, written with chocolate on both front and back.
(Cocoa 32:15-16)

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