Nobody knows why Jerry's always smiling, except me.
It's the Shabu.
First you're going to want to start cooking those
burgers and hot dogs. If you need to ask me how you'd go about doing
that then I don't think you're allowed to be my best friend anymore.
Anyway, light up that grill...but don't get too attached to it,
because if you're anything like use you'll leave it out overnight
and it'll get stolen by the homeless vargrants of West Philadelphia.
I don't know exactly what they're intending to do with a $10 Hibachi
and frankly, I don't think I want to know. In closing, if you're
REALLY anything like us Step #1 probably involves going to the Supermarket
and buying a new fucking grill.
As for the Russian Dressing, which is the reason
you're all reading this masterpiece (unless it's for Skab's masterful
cinematic style). Simply take similar proportions of ketchup and
mayonaise and mix them together. It may be a good idea to include
less ketchup and more mayo, because everyone likes mayo and if you
don't you're probably un-American. Moving on, after the wholesale
slaughter of any mayo hating COMMIES you might know feel free to
add the relish and chili powder to taste. You now have one bangin'
hamburger topping. The flavor of ketchup, the power of mayonaise,
together at last.
It's homemade. It's delicious. It's probably the
only thing you'd learn how to make from reading this.