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As much hamburger meat and hotdogs as you might like |
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 Nobody knows why Jerry's always smiling, except me. It's the Shabu. |
First you're going to want to start cooking those burgers and hot dogs. If you need to ask me how you'd go about doing that then I don't think you're allowed to be my best friend anymore. Anyway, light up that grill...but don't get too attached to it, because if you're anything like use you'll leave it out overnight and it'll get stolen by the homeless vargrants of West Philadelphia. I don't know exactly what they're intending to do with a $10 Hibachi and frankly, I don't think I want to know. In closing, if you're REALLY anything like us Step #1 probably involves going to the Supermarket and buying a new fucking grill. As for the Russian Dressing, which is the reason you're all reading this masterpiece (unless it's for Skab's masterful cinematic style). Simply take similar proportions of ketchup and mayonaise and mix them together. It may be a good idea to include less ketchup and more mayo, because everyone likes mayo and if you don't you're probably un-American. Moving on, after the wholesale slaughter of any mayo hating COMMIES you might know feel free to add the relish and chili powder to taste. You now have one bangin' hamburger topping. The flavor of ketchup, the power of mayonaise, together at last. |
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 We have yet to instruct Bear about common ettiquette, you know...like not eating food off the god damn counter. I shit you not, I once saw this kid eat a Swedish Fish off the floor Pete Sanchez had walked on, barefoot. |
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 Hamburgers, cooked with the genuine taste of recession suffering Japan |
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 Throwing things off the roof. One of the, but not the only, reasons we get yelled at by the security guards |
 Awww, labeled cheese. Thanks mommy! |
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